It's the law--

Peever's Law #48: If you think you're better than someone else because of your religion, you're doing something wrong.--

Peever's Law #22: Killing someone because you don't like them, even if you're President of the United States, is murder.--

Peever's Law #102: The more you eat, the fatter you'll get. Eventually, you'll need new knees, which shouldn't surprise you.--

Peever's Law #53: If you have a chance to do it all over again, be sure to make some changes.--

Peever's Law #340: Eventually, it all comes down to death and dying.--

Peever's Law #12: If a nuclear bomb goes off, don't bother ducking.--

Peever's Law #77: It doesn't hurt to want, but eventually you have to pay for it.--

Peever's Law #203: Sometimes saying no is the best thing for everyone.--

Peever's Law #159: If you run out of worthwhile things to do, become a politician.--

Peever's Law #238: Given the laws of probability, it's likely that somewhere in the universe there are beings dumber than ourselves.--

Peever's Law #114: The colder it gets, the higher the price of natural gas. The warmer it gets, the higher the price of electricity. This is in accordance with the rules set down at the Republican National Convention of 1934.--

Peever's Law #216: If you're going to run for Governor, never have the same last name as the outgoing one.--

Peever's Law #123: Drinking is an oxymoron. The more you drink, the bigger the moron gets.--

Peever's Law #44: Everyone has a breaking point.--

Peever's Law #100: Violence is not a good way to solve our differences.--

Peever's Law #301: In the scheme of things, attorneys are way down on the list.--

Peever's Law #666: Keep on Peevin'.--

Peever's Law #5: For every good there has to be a bad, for every up, a down, for every right, a left, for every moderate, a left, for every conservative, a left, and so on and so forth.--

Peever's Law #287: The truth is like water -- it's hard to grasp and easy to contaminate.--

Peever's Law #35: The more businessmen that show up for a meeting, the more likely it is they're looking for a handout.--

Peever's Law #69: The more a person talks about sex, the less likely it is they're having it.--

Peever's Law # 101: Generally speaking, if you get the most votes, you should win the election.--

Peever's Law #7: It is good to bump heads with authority. Otherwise, you begin to believe them.--

Peever Law # 1: I peeve, therefore I am.

P.S. Congratulations to the students at Galesburg High and their website. You talk about peeving! I bet the old boys are just chomping at the bit. Students need a way to vent their frustrations about the powers that be. I think it's great. Post my peeve of March 14: Advice to High School Activists, on your site. Remember, adults don't like kids talking back to them. When you color outside the lines, there are always repercussions.

Uploaded to The Zephyr website October 8, 2002

Back to The Zephyr home page at: www.thezephyr.com