Onward Christian soldiers
— Bumper sticker of the week: Foley/
— Quote of the week: ÒHow many legs
does a dog have if you call the tail a leg?
Four. Calling a tail a leg doesnÕt make it a
leg.Ó —Abraham Lincoln
— I figured out IÕm allergic to most
ministers, almost all attorneys, and a majority
of politicians. Whenever I hear or see one, I
have to take a pill. The whole thing is very
annoying. ItÕs like a tic attaching itself to your
scrotum. All they want to do is suck the life
out of you.
— I have a dream: IÕd like to start a bakery,
a restaurant, and a boarding house in
Hot Springs, Arkansas, to train the jobless,
feeding rich people in the day, poor people
at night, and housing the homeless. I figure
this plan is about as grandiose as President
BushÕs plan to save the Middle East.
— How do you find God? Where do
you look? What do you look for? They say
HeÕs everywhere. Is He in Iraq, watching
hundreds of thousands of innocent civilians
being killed? In the prison at Abu Ghraib,
or Guantanamo Bay, watching American
soldiers abuse and torture prisoners of
war? He must have been in New Orleans,
so how in the hell did all that happen? IsnÕt
He supposed to be almighty? All-powerful?
All knowing? What is He, part-time? This
ainÕt logical or figurable. I gave up trying
years ago. You either believe or you donÕt.
You got to decide. No one can make that
decision for you.
— It is an absurd idea to believe all
education should be performance based.
— Congratulations to the Syracuse
Cultural Workers for 25 years of revolutionary
art. Thank you. (TheyÕve helped with a lot of
bumper stickers and quotes.)
— I get a kick out of Clarence Thomas.
He ainÕt got a clue why heÕs so disliked.
Believe me, it ainÕt cause heÕs black. HereÕs
a minority person who is an ultra rightwinger.
ThatÕs an oxymoron. Anyone in that
position is someone whose motives need
to be questioned. I campaigned against
him when he was nominated, and IÕd do
so again. That he chases women and/or
pinches them on the butt is the least of my
problems with him.
— HereÕs a good e-mail I got: ÒThereÕs a
fine line between genius and insanity, and
youÕve erased the line.Ó IÕm not sure whether
thatÕs good or bad.
— Which leads me to a good question:
Where is the money going to from the corn
that is being grown in the Logistics Park? I
hope I canÕt guess.
— Bush should quit: 67 percent of the
American public thinks he stinks. He would
be forced to resign in any other country. A
Òno confidenceÓ vote would be taken. (ThatÕs
actually what happened to his good buddy
Tony Blair.) He should be gone. Him and
Tony should be raising miniature horses in
— The Christian Right want to start a third
party. I got some suggestions:
¥ How about, ÒChristian Soldiers for Christ.Ó
You donÕt believe in Jesus, Bang!
¥ I like ÒDobsonÕs Dummies.Ó That would
be James Dobson, head of Focus on the
Family, an ultra right-wing organization out
of Colorado Springs.
¥ They could go with ÒHillary Haters.Ó These
guys seriously dislike Hillary. TheyÕll come
out in force in an attempt to beat her. They
hate women who can think for themselves
and are smart and articulate. Those types
of women donÕt fit into their King James
version of the Bible.
¥ The ÒAnti-Choice PartyÓ would be a good
¥ How about, ÒRight-wing Do-gooders
Who Think They Own The Republican
PartyÓ? These guys preach family values
while theyÕre screwing the secretary.
¥ Their pro-gun, pro-capital punishment,
pro-corporate welfare, anti-choice, antigay,
government, anti-diversity, single
religion, donÕt invest in stem-cell research
agenda is quite appealing to candidates
who canÕt think for themselves. They seem
to think that none of the candidates to date
in the Republican Party qualify, but I got
Thompson, McCain, Romney, Hunter, and
Tancredo in the running.