— Bumper sticker of the week: U.S. Out Now. How?

— Quote of the week: “A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there’s no question about it.” George W. Bush

— You know the Republicans are in bad shape when all the 2008 Presidential contenders are arguing over who is the most conservative. Let the right-wing pandering begin. I personally think they all qualify.

— A clear majority of Americans are living paycheck to paycheck, which is becoming more and more difficult. The food pantry industry is the fastest growing enterprise in America, thanks to Bush and his jolly band of misfits.

— The Knox County sex craze: Never let it be said that Galesburg is not a giving community. We’re swopping STDs, that’s sexually transmitted diseases, faster than Wal-Mart is buying Chinese goods. Passing on STDs requires that you have sex. In the most reliable national survey, the latest data being from 2003, 43 percent of high school girls, and 48.5 percent of the boys, which roughly means 45 percent of all high school students, are reporting that they have been sexually active, making them at risk for STDs. Knox County is particularly troubled with chlamydia and gonorrhea, two pesky infections that are ranked number one and number two among the STDs. While generally not fatal, they are testy little irritations that require antibiotic treatment. One of the morals of the story: Always ask your sexual partner for a list of medications they are taking. If antibiotics are among them, just say no. And always require the male to use a condom. You never know where that little bugger has been. Don’t pay any attention to the do-gooders who suggest that the use of condoms promotes premarital sex and is immoral. They’re flat out wrong. The condom is your best friend to guard against STDs, and unwanted pregnancy. The abstinence based lunacy being preached by right-wing Christians is also wrong. Almost 50 percent have already said yes. Abstinence based programs should not be receiving federal funds. They are obviously “faith” based. All the faith you have ain’t going to stop that little sperm from swimming upstream to meet its destiny. A condom will.

— Two of a kind: Dan Quayle and George W. Bush.

Some Quaylisms:

• “The best things about rain forests is they never suffer from drought.”

• “A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.”

• “It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.”

Some Bushisms:

• “The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country.”

• “If we don’t succeed, we run the risk of failure.”

• “Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?”

• “We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.”

The fact that these two bozos have speech impediments leads me to believe that they may have been Siamese twins, attached at the lips.

— War is terrorism. I thought we were against that?

— Make love, not war. Hell, do both. Get married.

— Export jobs-import workers: Not even Alan Greenspan believes that will work.