Leave It To Peever

­­ Bumper sticker of the week: A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

­­ Quote of the week: ''We are learning to know precisely the location of our genes, but significant numbers of us don't know the whereabouts of our children.'' Wendell Beny

­­ There's something about a near-death experience that makes you want to throw up, yet at the same time makes you sit up and take notice. Something about the nearness of entering eternity that helps you to see things you have never seen before, hear the wind blow through the trees with sounds you have never heard, makes you feel close to people you have maybe taken for granted. I can only say this from my own experience: Things cannot ever be the same. For whatever reason, you are called to change. The change may be subtle and minor in nature, or more dramatic, but try as you might, it cannot be ignored. This new awareness, however, will not affect the peeves. This is way too much fun.

­­ Some final thoughts before the election:--

Someone is going to win every race, which in some instances is going to be real unfortunate.--

If George W. wins the presidency, I'm seriously considering becoming a monk.--

I hope Mark Baker finally gets the message.--

I'm expecting a 50 percent voter turnout, which is extremely optimistic, yet pathetic.--

One final note on a more personal basis: vote Weik and vote often.

­­ Finishing my election predictions:--

McCune should manage to win as an incumbent.--

Circuit Clerk is another matter. Chessman and Shallenberger have both campaigned hard, neither are incumbents, and both work in the Circuit Clerk's office. This one is a toss-up.--

I see Moffitt winning by a narrow margin, depending on voter turn-out. A large turn-out will favor Watson. If Hawkinson wins the Supreme Court seat and Moffitt takes his Senate seat, which I'm sure he would want if given the opportunity, Josh will have the upper hand in 2002, if he stays with it.--

I don't make County Board predictions. As for a majority, I see a 1 or 2 seat edge for the Republicans.

­­ Answering the mail:--

Dear Peever: Sorry to hear you have been sick. I hear you had a near-death experience. Would you consider sharing it? Molly.

Dear Molly: The near-death experience involved me choking one of the doctors. You can read about it in the Peoria newspaper.

-- Dear Bruce: They want to rename Galesburg 2000. Do you have any suggestions? Harry.

Dear Harry: I heard they're thinking about ''Envision Galesburg.'' With the current board, that would mean we would end up uniquely 1930ish. I'm going with ''Stretch The Truth, Inc.''

-- Dear Mr. Weik: You seem very negative. You get on everything and everybody. Is there nothing you like? Mary.

Dear Mary: I like ice cream, steaks, and tequila, none of which I can have any more. That should help explain my attitude.

-- Dear Mr. Peever: I get the feeling you don't like women? Any explanation? Melody.

Dear Melody: I do like women. I go to the Platinum Club all the time.

­­ Remember to vote. You have no business moaning and groaning about politicians if you don't get your butt to the polls. We get what we deserve. If you don't like what's going on, work to change it. Sitting in front of the TV and bitching is not going to help. It's a proven fact.

Uploaded to The Zephyr Online October 31, 2000

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