Leave It to Peever by Bruce Weik

The Public Gets Peeved Off

­­ From Clara: ''I've been reading 'The Other Side' in the Galesburg Post. Mr. Mark Howerter calls for the need of more Christians to go into government. I suspect, at all levels of government, from township to Washington, D.C., 99.8 percent of those elected would call themselves Christians. I imagine Mr. Howerter is asking for more right-wing thinking Christians, the ones who use Christ to spread right-wing political ideology, to step forward and save us all from hell and damnation. I say no thanks. Hell would be a much nicer alternative.''

­­ From Jane Johnson: ''My favorite teeth-gnashing peeve flares when prominent personages and voice-overs on television segments and commercials mispronounce the ''pro'' words. Those voices ''per'' when they should ''pro,'' as in permote, pervide, pertect, perduce, and pernounce. Also violations occur with the ''pre'' words such as percipitation, perscription and perservation, to name a few. Sadly and possibly to cut costs, grade school classes do not stress the importance of correct pronunciation any more.''

­­ From my buddy Jake: ''Thanks for giving me the opportunity to vent some of my peeves. I spend a good deal of time being peeved off now-a-days. They want me to castrate my dog or pay more money. Where is the justice in that? And why are humans exempt? I got leaves all over the place but I can't burn them. what am I supposed to do with the damn things, make pillows? Give me a break here. They say my property is worth more today so they can tax it higher. I asked the guy if he wanted to buy it for what he said it was worth? He passed. I'm trying to eat healthier foods, but there are none. I went to the doctor. They asked me for my credit card number and called the funeral home. I made a 10 cent call, any time, any day, anywhere. It cost me $4.95. I had a beautiful flowering plant the city called a weed and fined me. That's the stuff that peeved me off yesterday. You want to hear about today?''

­­ From Marilyn: ''The tobacco companies have finally fessed up. After getting sued into near oblivion, the nation's largest cigarette maker, Philip Morris Co., Inc., has admitted there is 'overwhelming medical and scientific consensus that cigarette smoking causes lung cancer, heart disease, emphysema, and other serious diseases in smokers.' They also agree 'smoking is addictive as that term is most commonly used today.' They intend on spending $100 million a year letting the public know what we've known for 30 years. That's a lot of money to convince us their product kills us. Why not just quit making the product?''

­­ From Karen Pierson: ''My pet peeve is not treating the rich and famous and the poor equally in our courts; and our courts being a mockery of justice with rich who murder and never pay for their crime, while a poor person is locked up instantly for life. How many times do we need to see guilty rich and famous kill, molest, rape, lie, and go free? No one pays for OJ's double murder. No one pays for the Ramsey's little girl beaten, molested and dead. No one pays for Michael Jackson's molested children. A nanny goes back to her country when a child dies, no one paid. Our president has an affair and the ones involved sell books and movies and get rich. How many murders are covered up, left unsolved, because someone rich did the crime? I don't like this double standard. I'm tired of liars, cheats, thieves, murderers walking away because they have money, while many poor fill our prisons for doing far less crimes. They ask us not to lose faith in our justice system. I want to know how it can even be called justice? There is no justice for all. That has been lost forever. Now is the time to get a new justice system. An eye for an eye. If you do the crime, pay the time. Also, why does everyone lie in court? Didn't they take an oath to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God?''

­­ From Pedro: ''I watch with amazement as Governor Ryan takes a trip to Cuba. This appears to be clearly a trade mission, what with ADM, Caterpillar and John Deere all represented in the entourage. This is technically not allowed. I cannot just go to Cuba, even though I have a friend who plays baseball there. America continues to punish Cuba for throwing you out during the revolution and outsmarting you at the Bay of Pigs. All of a sudden it is seemingly all right for a bunch of businessmen to do a little promo work, just in case Congress lifts the embargo, which is bound to happen soon, cause all these big shots just love Cuba, what with the beautiful women, cigars and lovely beaches. After America gains a stronghold in Cuba for a second time, another Fidel will come wandering out of the mountains and kick your butts out again. In the meantime, your big shots will have fun ruining yet another beautiful place.

''P.S.: While in Cuba, don't badmouth Fidel. The people love him. The capitalists don't.''

­­ And the winner -- from Mary: ''I have been praying for Muslims, Jews and Hindus. I am a Southern Baptist and believe these persons are lost and worship gods which are not God. I know this to be true because my minister tells me so. He went to school for six months and knows all about the Bible. Soon we will also be praying for Buddhists. We know our religion is the only right religion in the world. We have proof. Our proof resides in Heaven. It peeves me that you don't believe this.''

Oh brother. I won't do this again. And to top it off, the free T-shirt comes from Tibet. Sorry Mary.

Uploaded to The Zephyr Online November 2, 1999

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