– Bumper sticker of the week: Bush/Cheney: Over a billion whoppers served.

– Quote of the week: "What are we going to do to get rid of him? Which leads to the even scarier question: How in the hell are the Democrats going to be able to pull this off? No one–and I mean no one–trusts the Democrats’ ability to get this job done. They are professional losers. They can’t get themselves elected out of a men’s room: Even when they actually win an election–as they did in 2000–the Democrats still lose! How pathetic is that?" Michael Moore, "Dude, Where’s My Country."

– I got a new slogan for Galesburg: "Live. Learn. Worship. Work. Shop. Leave."

– A model community in Paradise:

• One wouldn’t allow drinking in Paradise. It’s way too risky. We’ll talk about sex later.

• The city council and mayor would be in charge in Paradise, not the Chamber or city manager or good-old-boys. In Paradise, there are no favorites.

• Every street and park would be named after citizens who have made contributions to the city. Preferably, positive ones. I like the sound of Peever’s Park and Screw Ground.

• There would be no free giveaway programs to business. In fact, in Paradise, there may not be any business. No cheating your fellow citizens.

• Health—care would be given on an equal basis to everyone, regardless of ability to pay. This socialist idea is highly thought of in Paradise, as it is in the rest of the civilized world.

• Any church would have to prove its worth by the minister taking a lie detector test. Some sample questions might be: Do you think Christ was a Republican? Do you think Christ would have carried a gun? Would Christ approve of killing strangers for oil? Nothing difficult. Very simple, straight—forward questions. I particularly like this one: Do you think Christ heard of Buddha? This is kind of a trick question.

• At first I didn’t think we should allow any Republicans in Paradise, but after I thought about all the dumb Democrats I know, I changed my mind.

• No lying, cheating, stealing, or masturbation allowed in Paradise. We don’t want a bunch of blind, cheating, lying fools stumbling around.

• I wonder if it would be okay to dream in Paradise about another Paradise?

– I learned a quick lesson about buying property in Florida: Everybody makes out but you. One of the gals I talked to was driving a Porsche. The other was driving a fancy Mercedes. Just to get them to talk to me I had to tell them I went to school with Bill Clinton. That got their attention, especially after I pulled out the cigar.

– Writing is hard and mentally taxing work. The state of mind one needs to be in is exactly the state that others are paying large sums of money to get rid of.

– Community Health Systems takes over Cottage: For profit health—care company out of Nashville dives into the Galesburg health—care market. Who would have ever thunk it? I didn’t think anyone would have the nerve. We’ll have to see how this develops. I’m not too fond of health—care providers, especially those trying to keep stockholders happy. But, hey, I’ll give the suits a chance. By the way, are they the one’s flying in the Lear jet? They must have the profit part down pat.

– Jeb Bush in training to become King: Florida does it again! In the case of a dying woman who has been in a vegetative state for 13 years, Jeb steps in to give medical advice. This is clearly a Bush trait–thinking you can do whatever the hell you want with other people’s lives. This is the same line of bull used by pro—life politicians: We can do whatever we want to control your body. After all, we’re much smarter than you. We know what’s best for you. It’s the same bad scene played out in many a totalitarian nightmare. Pretty soon they’ll be having us marching lock—step to a rousing rendition of God Bless America, sung by Celine Dion or that goofy country singer who made fun of the French. At any rate, we got to get off our butts and get rid of these people in 2004. There’s going to be a rumble. A regime change. A coup. An evolution!

– It’s happening all over again: In the fifties, it was McCarthy stirring up a dreadful fear over communism. His hearings ruined a lot of people’s lives and careers. Ends up, it was mainly all bullshit. We got the same thing happening today. Bush, Cheney, Ashcroft, Rumsfeld, Powell, Rice–all eager and willing to perpetrate the same kind of evilness, fears, and lies as McCarthy did. We didn’t learn a thing. The public is as stupid as the day is long. But you got to figure, the day always ends.