Bumper sticker of the week: Caution. This vehicle brakes for hallucinations.
Quote of the week: ''Like individuals, a community can fall victim to amnesia, can lose the memory of what it was, and thereby lose touch with what it is and what it was meant to be. The loss of community memory happens most frequently and most dramatically in the destruction of familiar landmarks that are themselves reminders of who we were, what we believed, and where we were headed.'' ''Changing Places,'' Richard Moe, Carter Wilkie.
A review of the Peever's election predictions:--
First of all, I did not predict it would be this screwed up.--
I did predict Gore would win by 300,000-500,000. Seems it will be fewer. I did, however, neglect to mention that it wouldn't count. Since it is still up in the air, we won't count this one.--
U.S. House, 17th district. I called Evans by 6-10 percent Seems it was Evans by 10 percent. Three strikes, Baker is out. The Peever goes 1-1.--
I predicted the U.S. House would go to the Democrats. I lose. Peever 1-2.--
Illinois Supreme Court. I predicted Hawkinson. And the winner was, Kilbride. 1-3.--
County Coroner. I predicted Watson. It was Watson by about 2,000. 2-4.--
States Attorney. I thought Mangieri, and sure enough, it was Mangieri all the way. 3-5.--
County Recorder. I predicted McCune. McCune easily won. It's hard to beat an incumbent. 4-6.--
State Representative. I called Moffitt. Back to the incumbent thing. 5-7.--
Circuit Clerk. I said too close to call. Cheesman ended up winning by about 600. Not close enough to take credit. 5-8.--
County Board. I said the Republicans would gain 1 or 2 seats, They gained 2. 6-9.--
I predicted voter turnout nationwide to be at 50 percent. They say voter turnout was 50 percent. Bullseye. I finished at 7 for 10. Not bad in any league.
(This one's for John) The referendum concerning the city owned telecommunications system failed by about 750 votes. This would not have been a tax, but the selling of revenue bonds. It was stated that even if this city owned business failed, the financial burden would not fall back on the taxpayer. I suspect most people viewed this with a good deal of skepticism. Still, the slight risk seemed to be well worth the potential huge benefit. I decided for myself that it was. Actually, helping me make that decision was the campaign that AT&T waged against it. One of life's truisms is that if a large corporation is against something, the average Joe should be for it. 0f course, the opposite is also true. When a company uses lies and misinformation in such a dramatic way as was done by AT&T, there should be no doubt in the public's mind as to what to do. Hopefully next time around, the public will remember this truism and use its logic rather than their brain. That should help.
If the election is not completed by January 20th, I volunteer to take over. Here is what I would immediately do:--
I would ask those Senators and Representatives who have been declared legally dead to leave. This would include Jesse Helms and Strom Thurmond, among about a dozen others.--
I would move operations from Washington to Galesburg. This should help the local economy and would prop up the population by a million or two.--
The first laws I would suggest would have to do with doctors, lawyers, and used car salesmen.--
I would push for a constitutional amendment requiring anyone caught cheating the poor to be branded with a dollar sign on their forehead.--
Unions would be required by law.--
Volunteers would not be allowed in the White House for my own sexual protection.--
Finally, I would issue an executive decree that all grocery stores would have to be organized in the same way.
What is an epiphany?--
When you realize the rich are always going to screw the poor. That is an epiphany.--
When you realize employees have to unionize to protect themselves against management. That is an epiphany.--
When you realize it really doesn't matter who is President of the United States. That is an epiphany.--
When you realize investing in toilet paper is a sound investment. That is an epiphany.--
When you realize the world will go on without you, as unlikely as that may seem to you. That is an epiphany.