LEAVE IT TO PEEVER

– Bumper sticker of the week: Bush/Cheney—2004: Déjà—Voodoo all over again.

– Quote of the week: "The reason the right is so aggressive in trying to squash any and all dissent is because they’re in on the dirty little secret the left doesn’t get: that more Americans agree with the left than the right. The right knows this because they look at the numbers, they read the reports, and they live in the real world that has become increasingly liberal in the last decade or so. And they hate it. So, in the tradition of all propagandists, they lie. They create an opposite truth: America is conservative. Then they pound away with that false message so hard and so often that even their political opponents come to believe it’s true." Dude, Where ‘s My Country, Michael Moore

– Ten ways to know you’re in Arkansas:

• Everyone looks the same.

• There’s no such thing as a straight road. The shortest distance between two points is a curve.

• Trailer parks are as common as rocks.

• Old Glory takes a back seat to the Confederate flag.

• DNA tests are of no use to the criminal justice system.

• Outhouses are marked with a star for men and a half—moon for women. Looking at the men, I think it should be the other way around.

• Instead of tuxedo rental places, they have bib—overall rental places.

• Cars above 1980 are apparently outlawed.

• They talk funny.

• For some reason, there are a lot of cigar stores.

– Why I won’t buy a Maytag appliance:

• I can’t speak or read Spanish.

• I don’t trust foreigners. That refrigerator might explode.

• I’m hoping they go bankrupt.

• I don’t like the chairman. I bet he has a big house and a fancy car. That’s from the bonus I bet he got from closing the Galesburg plant.

• The stockholders are pathetically naive and self—serving.

– And I’m not going to buy a Butler building.

– And if Gates thinks I’m going to start buying their rubbers, they got another think coming.

– Ways to make money in America:

• Be friends with the President or Vice—President.

• Start a company, sell something you don’t own, like energy contracts, bank all the profit, sell the stock when it peaks, and use the money to stay out of jail.

• Sell health—care to the rich.

• Guns have a good profit margin and are necessary to help keep the neighbor on his side of the fence.

• More specifically, in Galesburg, the moving van business seems pretty good.

– Knoxville school district cranks up the scare tactics: Vote for a tax increase, or we’ll have to bus your kids to Rock Island. (Why fool around?) I still haven’t heard of any proposed cuts in administration? Maybe I’m just not reading close enough?

– Speaking of Knoxville: They’re going into the TIF business. The school district should be really upset about that. They stand to lose thousands of dollars from that little Chamber gimmick. The council should take a close look at Galesburg’s success with TIF districts and chuck the whole idea, before it’s too late.

– The economy is reportedly improving: Go down to the unemployment office and let everyone know.