Leave It To Peever

­­ Bumper sticker of the week: Our national health care plan: Don't get sick.

­­ Quote of the week: Former heavyweight boxing champ Muhammad Ali visited the ruins of the World Trade Center on Sept. 27th. When reporters asked how he felt about the suspects sharing his Islamic faith, All responded pleasantly, ''How do you feel about Hitler sharing yours?''

­­ Philip Morris breaks out a new media campaign aimed at running away from its most lucrative business, the sale of the most deadly drug on the planet, nicotine. Rather than thinking about not producing cigarettes, they would sooner change their name. ''Altria Group,'' which apparently means ''high performance,'' is a step towards diverting the public's attention away from their deadly product. Philip Morris has also recently increased their donations to the arts and to organizations assisting battered women. The writing is on the wall, their product is headed for extinction. They'll do everything corporately possible, including spending millions of dollars, to protect their bottom line. Unfortunately, their bottom line is their customers' death.

­­ Bush and Cheney, America's second choice.

­­ We recently spent our vacation with some old friends from our high school days: Bill and Barb, Rene and Dixie, and Rick and Beth. You talk about whooping it up! I'm still recuperating. Right when the world is proving to be a pain in the butt, along comes our own personal version of'' The Big Chill.'' If there is one thing I would hope for, it would be to grow old with these people around me.

­­ District 205 was doing so good financially. They would have led us to believe they had more money than Bill Gates. All of a sudden, sorry, we have to raise your taxes. Now, because of their ineptness, they need even more than 60 percent of your real estate tax dollars. My advice to them is, join the real world. Try making some decisions that don't include sticking your hand in my billfold. Your utility bills went up, so did ours. How much did you give yourselves in raises last year? I got nothing. Galesburg is losing population. There are no new taxpayers to mooch money from. Only us: the few, the proud, the broke.

­­ Thanksgiving. In the scheme of things, there is a lot to be thankful for:

-- I'm thankful for zero percent financing. Of course, I already had zero percent financing, since my car was already paid for and I'm not near dumb enough to trade it in.--

I'm thankful to live in Illinois, where apparently no one is in charge. For the last 20 years, the state government has made no important decisions concerning anything, which leads me to believe there is probably nothing important going on. Or our legislators are just plain dumb.--

I'm thankful W. George is in charge. Oh, I'm sorry, I got Thanksgiving confused with April Fool's.--

I'm thankful to live in Galesburg, where the population keeps going down and our taxes keep going up. This is in part due to the City Council continuing to give the administration yearly raises, for reasons unbeknownst to anyone with a brain.--

I'm thankful our corporate farmers are doing so well in Knox County. During a recent attempt by Congress to change some of this farmer welfare, I could hear the crying in my living room at night. It seemed to be some kind of sorrowful moan about how could we possibly afford Florida every winter without our welfare check? In the end, Congress must have also heard the moaning. They didn't do much of anything, which seems par for the course.--

I'm thankful to live in America, where apparently we seem to be best at about everything. It is good to know there are so many citizens who believe just about everything the government tells them. Where else in the world can you find such devotion to such mediocrity?--

If I had a Thanksgiving wish, it would be to have every incumbent politician lose their next election.--

Speaking of wishes, I wish a 16 oz. T-bone steak would appear on my plate at Thanksgiving instead of a stupid old turkey. Probably so does the turkey.

­­ Have a Happy Thanksgiving. May all your wishes come true.

Uploaded to The Zephyr Online November 20, 2001

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