Things to be thankful for this Thanksgiving:


— IÕm thankful I wasnÕt one of the Indians the pilgrims poisoned.

— IÕd have really been thankful if IÕd have won the mega-millions the other Tuesday. $315 million. Now all I have are shattered dreams.

— IÕm thankful I live in a country where you can call the President stupid, an idiot and a moron, and no one argues with you.

— IÕm thankful the American public is finally paying some attention to what is going on in Washington.

— IÕm glad IÕm not a turkey.

— IÕm thankful I live in a town where things pretty much stay the same. I hate change.

— IÕm thankful that Thanksgiving is on a Thursday, which is one of the days I happen to work.

— IÕm thankful I learned somewhere along the line that killing the enemy is only going to piss them off.

— IÕd have really been thankful if Bush would have stayed in China. They love him so.

— IÕm grateful the Congress and Senate are finally waking up. It must be nearing election time.

— I would be really thankful if the government would start representing a majority of the people.

— I would be extra thankful if a majority of the people started using their brains to think with rather than their ears.

— IÕm thankful that 50% of Americans think President Bush should be impeached. But I doubt seriously that we can talk any female into giving him a blow job.

— IÕm thankful I was raised as a Democrat. Otherwise, IÕd have killed myself by now.

— It would really be something to be thankful for if Dick Cheney turned into a turkey this Thanksgiving.

— It would be a wonderfully thankful Thanksgiving if our troops returned home this holiday season. Alive.

— IÕm thankful I didnÕt die five years ago. Otherwise, IÕd be dead right now.

— Finally, I am thankful, and hopeful, that I will be able to continue peeving you for another five years. By than I should be ready to retire and start living off the government, like so many of the rest of you seem to be doing.

So there! Another Thanksgiving. Praise be to God, Allah, Bush or whoever, and pass some more turkey and mashed potatoes.