The deer slayer

– Bumper sticker of the week: My husband and I got a divorce over religious reasons. He thought he was God and I didn’t.

– Quote of the week: "One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity, there ain’t nothin’ can beat team-work." Edward Abbey

– Making the ownership of guns one of our biggest issues in this new millennium is a testament to our ongoing stupidity. Seems we’ll never learn: People kill people. Guns make it easier.

– What Galesburg needs to prosper:

• A huge enema wouldn’t hurt.

• We need new leadership. The council and mayor need to go to East Galesburg and try their


• We need to find something to feature other than our giveaway programs to businesses and

the Reagan Trail. Both are and were embarrassing failures.

• We should give the prison to some other needy community.

• We could rent the entire community to the Defense Department, but they probably don’t need us anymore. They’ve found a new target range.

• We could use a sugar daddy. Or mommy.

– The Arkansas Razorbacks: I’ve become a part-time resident of Arkansas. Hot Springs Village. A pretty nice place, although I think there are a lot of Republicans there. They all seem to have a lot of money. Anyway, it’s a golfer’s paradise. Nine golf courses. Too bad I can’t play golf worth a damn. And six lakes, although we don’t have a boat and I hate the water. But the scenery is really pretty, and I can still see, so I guess it will all work out.

– More money for Shangri-La: The city has pledged more of our tax dollars to build Industrial Park #2. It won’t be long the total will be at $5 million or so. Hopefully, that will include crappers, depending on whether or not we get a grant to put in a sewage system. The only rumors I’ve heard about prospects are a hog refinery and a whore house. That would make for an interesting name: Makin’ Bacon City. Not bad if I do say so myself. The one thing you can’t fault me for is I’m always making suggestions.

– I bagged a buck: Count me in as a deer slayer. I ran over one. Scared the ever livin’ hell out of me. At least I know my heart’s strong. I’m not sure if I killed it. I couldn’t find it. I was going to cut its head off and put it on my wall, although it might have been a little crooked. If it didn’t die, I sure gave it one hell of a headache. It gave me one hell of a dent, so I suppose we were about even. If anyone kills a deer with gray paint on its antlers, it’s mine. I ran over it first.

– We lost a friend at Swedoughs: One of the members of our coffee clutch at Swedoughs died. A really nice lady that taught me a lot about life over the last ten years or so. When a person is with you one day and gone the next, it is always a stark reminder of how precious and fragile our time is here on Earth. She was a woman of strong faith and I’m sure is enjoying the freedom that passing brings. I will miss her. My sympathy to her family.

– I’m not sure, but I think I lost about $250 or so betting that Kerry would win the election. I am smart enough to bet meals, so at least I get something out of the deal. I have a tendency to lose the big ones, which dates back to betting Professor Seibert that Stevenson would beat Thompson for Illinois governor. (That one cost me a bundle.) Someday I suppose I’ll learn. In the meantime I’m boycotting Heinz ketchup.