­­ Getting rich. Some thoughts on winning the Lotto: -- All that money wouldn't change me. I'd still be obnoxious.--

I'd call every loan officer I ever knew and give them the good news: I don't need to beg your lousy money anymore. And oh, by the way...... --

I wouldn't waste the money. Everyone should have a condo in Cancun and a 35 40 year old live-in housekeeper. Female.--

I'd give away a lot of the money-- to car dealers, real estate agents, taxidermists and dreamers.--

I would take the money in a lump sum and invest it in something useful, like having fun.

­­ Letters to The Peever:--

Dear Mr. Peever: Do you really think man evolved from the apes? John

Dear John: Find a mirror. Look in it. Need I say more?--

Dear Peever: You seem to slant everything towards the left. Are we to believe everything you say? Sally

Dear Sally: Yes.--

Dear Peever: You recently went to Decatur and seem to support the protests being initiated by Rev. Jesse Jackson. How can you explain such stupidity on your behalf? Ralph

Dear Ralph: I don't know. I think it has something to do with being left-handed.--

Dear Mr. Peever: What do you have against Christians? Jane

Dear Jane: Nothing. I'm just wondering what's the matter with most of them.--

Dear Peever: Do you think the world is going to Hell in a handbasket? Mark

Dear Mark: Some days it sure seems like it. At other times, I'm certain of it.--

Dear Mr. Peever: I think your column is great. You are very intelligent and wise. Unsigned

Dear Mom: Thanks for writing. I'll see you soon.

­­Here's a quote to get you going in the morning: ''Life is a fatal condition.''

­­Things to think about if your going to move from the city to the country:--

Grading roads and clearing them in the winter becomes your most important political agenda.--

During planting and harvest, dodging all that farm equipment out on the highways without a license will be much easier having had all that practice on the freeways.--

You will have withdrawal symptoms from not being able to attend any meaningful cultural events.--

You will wonder why your real estate taxes are so high for property no one else wants.--

And you thought the city stinks.

­­ What if:--

the right-wing got its wish and everyone turned White? Who would they hate?--

it were discovered Jesus was a homosexual? What a mess that would be.--

government actually operated like a business? There would be a massive down sizing, twenty year retirements would be out, and all of the profit would go to the owners, which somehow would end up not being us.--

one and one ends up not being two? My first grade teacher would have to apologize to me.--

someone said they were you and could prove it? If someone said they were me, they'd be nuts.--

you wanted to die but no one would let you? Call me.--

you went to the hospital to get better but died?--

someone said they hated you because of your color? Or disability? Or social status? Or because you write funny little stories about wizards and witches?--

we no longer needed the military? Would they still make bombs?--

everyone quit smoking? Would they still make cigarettes?--

they discovered sex to be a fatal disease? Would we still...... Oh, forget it.

­­The Chicago Tribune recently ran an excellent series of reports on the death penalty in Illinois.

The Zephyr should do more investigative reporting. Most stories now days seldom do more than scrape the surface of any particular topic. Some of the results:--

Of the 285 death penalty cases in Illinois, 33 had been defended by attorneys who had been disbarred or suspended at one time.--

In 46 of the cases, prosecuting attorneys relied heavily on jailhouse informants, most of whom received favors for their testimony.--

Twenty cases included the use of hair analysis, which is highly controversial and not allowed in some states.--

Thirty-five blacks were tried by all white juries.--

Of the 285 cases, 127 were given a new trial or reduced sentences on appeal. We have executed 12 persons and released 12 persons from death row. The system is inaccurate, incompetent and incomprehensible. It needs to be overhauled and the death penalty eliminated. States attorneys cheat and pursue certain cases for no other reason than to get re-elected. The Chicago Tribune should be thanked by anyone who seeks justice for all. One's left wondering about the 12 who were executed. You got to figure some of the 285 are surely guilty. The question becomes, we can only hope those 12 were among them.

Uploaded to The Zephyr Online November 30, 1999

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