LEAVE IT TO PEEVER
The jokeÕs on us.
— Bumper sticker of
the week: Would someone give Bush a blow-job so we can impeach him?
— Quotes of the week:
ÒI have been thinking that I would make a proposition to my Republican
friends that if they will stop
telling lies about the Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them.Ó
Adlai Stevenson
ÒThe Democrats seem to be
basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they
have the management skills of celery. TheyÕre the kind of people whoÕd stop to
help you change a flat, but would somehow manage to set your car on fire. The
Republicans, on the other hand, would know how to fix your tire, but they
wouldnÕt bother to stop because theyÕd want to be on time for Ugly Pants Night
at the country club.Ó Dave Barry
— We must have forgot
to pay The Crow Man. TheyÕre back.
— A special thanks to
Dr. Shaw for serving up a free Thanksgiving dinner at the Get & Go on
Henderson. I had one. It was good. Thanks.
— HereÕs a good one:
The New York cops plug a would-be groom, hours before his marriage, while he
and two companions were sitting in their car. Fifty-odd shots. Ends up they
were unarmed. Damn the luck. The mayor says it seemed a little excessive. Boy,
heÕs smart. Says there will be a DA investigation. He believes it will be fair
and unbiased. Yeah, and Israel and Palestine will be getting along soon. The
last time an African-American got shot to death in cold blood by a group of
white cops in New York, they were acquitted. There can hardly be any doubt, the
investigation will likely be unfair and seriously biased. Anything else would
be quite a surprise.
— McMickeyÕs: Yes
waiter, IÕll have some of that good tasting chilled grease. Go see Fast Food
Nation. It will be the last time you order one up.
— Evidence that
civilization is doomed:
¥ Paris Hilton
¥ Spray-on tans
¥ Suicide bombers
¥ Ann Coulter
¥ Bottled water
¥ George Bush getting
reelected.
¥ Scientology
¥ The OÕReilly Factor
¥ Weapons of mass
destruction that donÕt exist
¥ Replacing a dictator with
a dick
¥ Dancing With The Stars
— The only smart
thing the county board has done in a long time they undone. Did anyone mention
to any of you what GREDA has done for us recently? No, I didnÕt think so.
— Leadership seems to
be extinct, particularly in the neighborhood.
— Springfield comes
through for us again: In a not so surprising meltdown of guts, the Illinois
House fails to pass an extension of the utility freeze. The big boys from the
utilities said they would probably have to close their doors if the freeze was
extended. Of course, the morons in Springfield fell for it. But they were kind
enough to work us out a deal. They talked the utilities into spreading out a
22% increase over the next 3 years. ThatÕs 7%, 7%, and 8%. Notice how good our
legislators were, getting the 8% at the end. Well, my question would be: How
many of us do you think will get a 22% increase in our wages or retirement or
Medicare, over the next 3 years? Where do you think that 22% is going to come
from? What you got us wasnÕt a solution or a compromise, it was a joke. And the
jokeÕs on us.