LEAVE IT TO PEEVER

 

The joke’s on us.

 

— Bumper sticker of the week: Would someone give Bush a blow-job so we can impeach him?

— Quotes of the week: “I have been thinking that I would make a proposition to my Republican friends  that if they will stop telling lies about the Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them.” Adlai Stevenson

“The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery. They’re the kind of people who’d stop to help you change a flat, but would somehow manage to set your car on fire. The Republicans, on the other hand, would know how to fix your tire, but they wouldn’t bother to stop because they’d want to be on time for Ugly Pants Night at the country club.” Dave Barry

— We must have forgot to pay The Crow Man. They’re back.

— A special thanks to Dr. Shaw for serving up a free Thanksgiving dinner at the Get & Go on Henderson. I had one. It was good. Thanks.

— Here’s a good one: The New York cops plug a would-be groom, hours before his marriage, while he and two companions were sitting in their car. Fifty-odd shots. Ends up they were unarmed. Damn the luck. The mayor says it seemed a little excessive. Boy, he’s smart. Says there will be a DA investigation. He believes it will be fair and unbiased. Yeah, and Israel and Palestine will be getting along soon. The last time an African-American got shot to death in cold blood by a group of white cops in New York, they were acquitted. There can hardly be any doubt, the investigation will likely be unfair and seriously biased. Anything else would be quite a surprise.

— McMickey’s: Yes waiter, I’ll have some of that good tasting chilled grease. Go see Fast Food Nation. It will be the last time you order one up.

— Evidence that civilization is doomed:

• Paris Hilton

• Spray-on tans

• Suicide bombers

• Ann Coulter

• Bottled water

• George Bush getting reelected.

• Scientology

• The O’Reilly Factor

• Weapons of mass destruction that don’t exist

• Replacing a dictator with a dick

• Dancing With The Stars

— The only smart thing the county board has done in a long time they undone. Did anyone mention to any of you what GREDA has done for us recently? No, I didn’t think so.

— Leadership seems to be extinct, particularly in the neighborhood.

— Springfield comes through for us again: In a not so surprising meltdown of guts, the Illinois House fails to pass an extension of the utility freeze. The big boys from the utilities said they would probably have to close their doors if the freeze was extended. Of course, the morons in Springfield fell for it. But they were kind enough to work us out a deal. They talked the utilities into spreading out a 22% increase over the next 3 years. That’s 7%, 7%, and 8%. Notice how good our legislators were, getting the 8% at the end. Well, my question would be: How many of us do you think will get a 22% increase in our wages or retirement or Medicare, over the next 3 years? Where do you think that 22% is going to come from? What you got us wasn’t a solution or a compromise, it was a joke. And the joke’s on us.