There are some things even I wouldn’t do

– Bumper sticker of the week: Bush/Cheney 2004: Don’t get fooled again.

– Quote of the week: "Hatred does not cease through hatred at any time. Hatred ceases through love. This is unalterable law." The Buddha

– Peever law #76: In a relationship, if you have to think about it, walk.

– Why I’m staying in Galesburg:

• I can’t sell my house.

• There’s only a slim chance of being killed by an avalanche or crushed by a boa constrictor.

• The living is relatively cheap, providing you have a job.

• There is a lot of peeve material.

• The likelihood of being mugged is low, provided you don’t go out at night.

• Moving would be a major pain in the ass.

• I like my neighbors, although they’re all moving.

– Peever law #33: Never look backward when riding a bike downhill.

– Democrats begin dumbing down for defeat: All the presidential candidates are attacking one another, while Bush sits in the White House laughing. They better rapidly adopt the slogan: Anyone but Bush in 2004.

– Why I don’t shop at Wal-Mart:

• They’re the biggest retail store in the world, which translates into they’re cheating us the


• The Waltons are rich enough.

• They cheat their employees out of overtime.

• They discriminate against females.

• They buy life insurance on their employees and keep the benefits when they die, rather than give it to the grieving families. (I think they ended this uncivilized practice when it came to light.)

• During new employee orientation, they make it clear that any union talk will get you fired.

• Wal-Mart has done more to destroy downtown America than any other single thing in the

last 250 years.

• Wal-Mart has an unfair advantage over other retailers. They name the price they are willing to pay to distributors. Take it or leave it. That’s how they can sell for less. Mom and pop retailers don’t have a prayer. This is capitalism at its worst.

• I saw the CEO of Wal-Mart lie about their clothes being made in sweatshops overseas. When shown a film of young children sewing in the Wal-Mart label, he still said no. It was one of the most pathetic things I have ever seen. I won’t give that lying jackass another penny.

– I saw Kentucky Fried Chicken is trying to pawn itself off as health food. Now they got to take us for fools to try and sell us such nonsense. The FDA isn’t even sure what they sell should be called chicken, much less that it’s healthy for you.

– If alcohol and cigarettes had to get FDA approval today, neither would make it. They are both way too dangerous and harmful for human consumption.

– Jobs I wouldn’t want:

• Prison guard: You can never be sure who’s guarding who.

• Judge: He who judges others is likely to get screwed on judgement day.

• Wal-Mart greeter: Number 1, I don’t like Wal-Mart. Number 2, I don’t like greeters.

• Knox College professor: I got the feeling you got to really pucker up to get this job.

• Horseshoer: You’d be better off being a jackass shoer, particularly around Washington.

• Right-wing minister: I couldn’t deal with a congregation that listens to such crap.

• Auto salesman: I can’t lie and talk at the same time.

• Real estate salesman: I can’t talk and lie at the same time.

• Lawyer: I can’t lie and lie and ……..

• Santa Claus: Who in their right mind wants to hang around kids all day. And those elves are annoying.