LEAVE IT TO PEEVER

A cereal a day keeps the doctor away

-Bumper sticker of the week: I’m Canadian. It’s like being American, only with health insurance.

-Quote of the week: “Great ideas, it has been said, come into the world as gently as doves.” Albert Camus

-Answering the email:

Dear Peever: I suppose you are really happy about the election? Tom

Dear Tom: Happy doesn’t begin to cover it. Democrats can usually find a way to mess things up, but I’m not sure there is anything left to screw up. Bush and Company took care of about everything. We can only go up. Ah, the pain of it all. The right-wing, Republican whining is music to my ears.

Dear Mr. Peever: You boldly predicted that Obama would win big. How did you know that? Carolyn

Dear Carolyn: I also predicted that Gore and Kerry would win. One out of three ain’t all that good, unless you’re playing baseball.

Dear Bruce: You sure let the Catholic priests have it the other week. You don’t much care who you get on, do you? Sam

Dear Sam: No.

Peever: You keep getting on the people who are doing economic development in Galesburg. Just exactly what is it you would do? Carol

Dear Carol: Anything else.

Mr. Weik: So you don’t think there was a Garden of Eden? Lee

Dear Lee: I have a hard time buying a serpent that talks, or woman being created by pulling a rib out of man, or that by taking a bite out of an apple, humankind would be plunged into the abyss. A factual story? A person with a kindergarten education should be able to figure it out.

-Doctors and drug companies: The pharmaceutical industry has close ties to many doctors. You often have to wonder if the prescriptions we so readily receive may be influenced by outside interests in the pharmaceutical companies making said pills. It is time for doctors to put a statement out regarding any type of financial gain or interest they might have in any drug or other medically related companies. This statement should also include any “gifts” that might be received from drug companies, including, but not limited to, free pizza and New York cheese cakes. Our health-care system is mired down in muck. The self-interest potentially existing rivals that of Congress. It’s about time we started to clean it up. Every hospital, every clinic, should demand this type of disclosure from the doctors working there, and should include their own. It would be good for the public to know if any such relationships exist, and what exactly those relationships might be.

-Breakfast of champions:

* Meaties: For the carnivore in you. Tiny morsels of meat, lightly frosted. Comes in BBQ, teriyaki, and soy sauce flavors.

* Christian Flakes: A tribute to right-wing, Christian, Republicans. Shapes include flags, crosses, and little Noah’s Arks, with numerous animal shapes. A real treat for those of you who combine right-wing ideology and religion. Now in available in a collectors box featuring Sarah Palin on the front and a copy of The Ten Commandments suitable for framing on the back.

* Fried Krispies: Tidbit of who knows what . Crunchy and filled with protein. Will not get soggy with milk.

* Iraqios: Explosions of taste in every bite. Shapes include grenades, land-mines, and missile launchers. A free flag in every box.

* Tricks: Little honey coated sweeties. For adults only.

* Golden Grams: Measured energy in every bite. It’s “high time” you tried some.

* Orgasms: They moan and groan in your bowl. They come in small packs for multiple adventures. Make great bed-time snacks.

* Cheaties: Best eaten while visiting your secret lover. Helps keep the truth off of your tongue.

* Beerios: Good for the morning after. Can be used with beer instead of milk, if necessary, to keep away the shakes.