Leave It To Peever

­­ Bumper sticker of the week: You can't blame me for Bush. My vote didn't count.

­­ Quote of the week: ''If enough people think of a thing and work hard enough at it, I guess it's pretty nearly bound to happen, wind and weather permitting.'' Laura Ingalls Wilder.

''If the world is to be healed through human efforts, I am convinced it will be by ordinary people, people whose love for this life is even greater than their fear. People who can open to the web of life that called us into being.'' Joanna Macy

­­ How you can tell it's winter: The most obvious way is to look at the calendar. Today's the day. The winter solstice. The only good thing about winter is it eventually ends. Wisconsin, Minnesota, and Michigan are all nice states except the only seasons they have are pre-winter, winter, and post-winter. The two worst things about winter are it's cold and it snows, both of which I'm taking a serious dislike towards.

­­ I love Christmas caroling. My only problem is I can't sing. I'm so bad I got kicked out of the church choir. You wouldn't think that would be right, but it's true. I would sing real loud because I was so proud, which ended up not helping. The choir director said she thought I would make a better candle-lighter. She was wrong. I caught the curtain on fire, which singed the cross. I've wondered if that has anything to do with my recent health problems. Surely not.

­­ The Mail:--

Dear Peever: I have a peeve. Why is it government employees get to retire after 20 years? Katie

Dear Katie: Because you pay for it.--

Dear Mr. Peever: Do you speak any foreign languages? Bob

Dear Bob: Someone recently said everything that comes out of my mouth is a bunch of bull. Does that count?--

Dear Mr. Bruce: Have you ever thought about writing a book? Larry

Dear Larry: I have written a book. I sold one copy to my mother. It was mainly about her anyway.--

Dear Mr. Weik: How much do you get paid to be on the County Board? Stanley

Dear Stanley: Not enough.--

Dear Peever: What do you think about the county nursing home? Carol

Dear Carol: Income too low, expenses too high. You add it up.--

Dear Mr. Peever: Any thoughts on Christmas? George

Dear George: If it were any more commercial you could box it up and give it to the poor. On the other hand, why bother them with such trivial pursuits.

­­ After Illinois made a miraculous economic recovery, apparently we are back to broke. Three mistakes were made with our money, for which the Illinois legislature is as much to blame as the governor:

1. ''Rebuild Illinois'' gave millions to persons and private companies around the state that had nothing to do with rebuilding Illinois but everything to do with political payoffs.

2. We didn't need a tax refund. We pay next to nothing in state taxes anyway.

3. Lifting the gas tax saved the average citizen about $2.95. It once again mainly helped some big business friends of the politicians, all of whom you can bet donated some back in the form of campaign contributions.

­­ I heard the other day there was a poor couple looking for a place to stay. She was pregnant and due to give birth. They had no money, no credit cards and no health insurance. It was cold and there was a foot of snow on the ground. Luckily, someone came along who saw the sacred in everyday life and helped them out. Merry Christmas.

Uploaded to The Zephyr Online December 19, 2000

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