It boggles my mind when I get those sudden bursts of insight of just how much there is to consider just in the everyday living of ones life. The choices are just so dang overwhelming. It starts for me at 4:49am as I awaken automatically and stare over at the clock and ask myself whether or not I should get up or stay abed for 11 more minutes. I usually defer to my "restful" side and roll back over. I roll back over but the thinking process has, however subtly, begun. I think about my family and how they have to be supported and why that should even be a problem which makes me think back to my semi-involuntary, premature, gilt parachuted retirement from a large American corporation which since has gone down the chute because they didnt run the place the way I thought it should have been run and because they didnt keep up with current technology.
Well, they did keep up with the technology, but a wee bit too slow to get finished product to market in time to beat the competition. They were slow to get products to market because of the infernal internal ego and politics that bogged them down. If only they had consulted me.
I think of my friends and former co-workers and wonder how they are managing these days of global readjustment and then I extrapolate this into a larger picture and wonder how everyone is making out and realize I cant solve all these problems now because it is 4:53 and I havent yet had a nice hot cup of tea yet.
I switch gears. The thoughts of what I left unfinished from yesterday start to creep in. It seems everything I started had a slight snag attached to it. The printer that was smearing and had to be cleaned, the sudden run I had to make to the other side town to pick up lobsters for supper. I feel so lucky to be able to have lobsters occasionally ... I should count my blessings. Then I think that perhaps lobsters are being overfished because so many people in different parts of the world are developing a taste for them.
Then I remember it was some famous actress or television star who was so vehemently against people cooking lobster because she viewed it as an act of cruelty. I had to put thoughts of her out of my mind for fear of losing desire for one of my favorite meals. What business is it of hers anyway? Hmmm, I dont want to dislike her just because of this simple lobster difference. Other than that, she seems like an okay person. I dont want to get too far into her head, but I dont want her getting too far into mine either. And what of the overfishing of lobster stocks. I can see both sides of the issue. People have to make a living, but if all the lobsters are gone... I dont want to go there now. Its too early. Theres too many people on Earth anyhow. Yawn.
I wonder what the Thunk is in the front end of our van when you take a right hand turn. Eww, my back is a little sore from those plastic benches at the baseball stadium yesterday. Pretty mediocre game up to the last half of the ninth. 4:55
I think about how our other car needs an inspection. I say to myself that Ill call later this morning. Then I think to myself, that Ill probably forget because Im getting old. Then I think that I wont forget now because I was thinking that I would forget it and that by just having the thought in my head that long will help me to remember. Then I think that Ill forget anyhow. Then I switch to thinking about some of the other aspects of aging and how I try to accept them with grace. I have a flashback to a time in a high-school English class when the teacher woke me up from my daily post-lunch nap and how angry I got at her. So angry that she didnt have to even call the office and that I left the room of my own accord to go down and turn myself in.
I have to reprint those seven pages that got smeared. Wait a minute, I already thought about that. I wonder what a new printer would cost and think that the old one is still usable and I dont want to see the current one go needlessly into the "trash" cycle. I think about Florida. I wonder how the new American Idol is doing. I try to remember her name. 4:59
Looks a little overcast out there. Maybe those few small patches of lawn I reseeded will start to green up and grow. That sure was some big ant hill in the front of the house the other day. I wonder if those big ants Ive been seeing in the bathroom are carpenter ants.
Oh Geez, I have to write an eight hundred plus word article this morning and I have no idea what to write it about. Im sure something will come to me. Maybe Ill write about these crazy thoughts I have before arising every morning. Naw, that would sound too crazy. 5:01
Its gonna be a long long day, I can tell.
J. Jules Vitali is a sculptor, columnist, inadvertent moral philosopher and poet who resides in Freeport, Maine. He is the creator of the art form Styrogami which can be seen on the web at www.styrogami.com. He is also an Artist in Cellophane (www.artomat.org). He tries to have fun in life.