BACKTRACKING
Preparing for
Certainty
by Terry Hogan
There are few certainties in life. We all hear the same thing - death and
taxes. This article is not about
taxes. It seems that the most
important talks are the ones hardest to do, and therefore the most easy to put
off. Sex discussions with a son or daughter, or preparation for death are a
couple that come to mind. I'm not
talking about sex (that may have cost me a few readers).
Oddly enough, we are grow older each day, until
we stop. And if we stop, we're
probably not reading this, and the article is too late at that point to be of much
use anyway. LetŐs face it, medical
treatment and life extension capabilities expand daily. So does our legal system and the
inclination for somebody to run to the court and file a legal action.
We know death is coming to each of us. It may arrive today, tomorrow, next
year, or decades away. It comes in
two ways - quickly or slowly. Who
knows better than you how you want your last days to be handled? Who knows better than you how you would
like your estate and family heirlooms to be distributed? Do you want the court to make those
decisions, or do you want to face reality and make preparations?
A Will
I'm not an attorney and I do not offer legal
advice. But you do need a will. If
it is an old will, do you know where it is? Look at it. Does it need revision? If so, take it to a trusted lawyer and
have it updated. If you don't have
a family lawyer, ask friends you trust for recommendations. A will can be very
simple or very complex. It is
determined mostly by two things - your desires and the size of your estate.
Don't put the only copy of the will in a bank lock box. The key may not be
found or it may be sealed because of your death for some period of time. Speak
to your lawyer about the distribution of the will.
A "Living Will" and Power of
Attorney for Health Care Decisions
These may go by different names, and the text
may vary from state to state. But
the purpose of the Living Will is to state your preference for the degree of
life sustaining actions you want to have, if you are unable to make that
decision clear when the need arises.
Typically there are standard forms that you can fill in the pertinent
information such as your name, address, date. Below these data is a list of Ňmenu
optionsÓ for the level of medical treatment you want. The choice is yours to
make. You typically just have to mark a box next to the choice you prefer. Not doing this, i.e. not making a
decision, is a decision. You are
deciding to push this hard choice to the nearest kin who is less prepared to
know your wishes than you are. Do
you want someone else to have to bear the burden of that decision? If your answer is that it is your
decision, fill out a form and place copies with your hospital, your family
doctor and your nearest relative.
It does no good to fill one out and stick it in an obscure place at your
home where nobody will find when it is needed.
The power of attorney for health care decisions
establishes who you are empowering to make decisions in regard to your health
care when you are unable to do so.
Obviously this is an important decision and should be discussed with the
person before you complete the paperwork.
This is not a good surprise to give someone after you are in the
hospital and unable to communicate your wishes. Your choice should be someone you trust to carry out your
wishes and someone who appears to have a good probability of outliving you.
If you have already completed these forms, but it
was done when you lived in another state, you may want to do it over, using the
standard forms for the current state you live in. State law differences might affect the validity of the out-of-state
forms.
Where do you get the forms? Call your family physician's office or
the local hospital that you go to.
Chances are they will have these forms available, and will suggest where
you should place copies so they are available if the need arises. If all else
fails, call your lawyer.
Important
Family Items
Most families have some items of emotional
importance, e.g. family history items.
These items should be identified and your wishes for distribution should
be made. If they have substantial
economic value, then perhaps they should be listed in the will. Ask you attorney. If they have no real economic value but
are important to the family, you may want to make a list of items, in
sufficient detail that the items can be clearly identified, and specify next to
the item who you want to leave the item to. Again, if you think it may be a
quarrelsome decision, talk to the attorney about adding it to the will. After you have made the list, sign it,
date it, and place it with the will. This makes your wishes clear, and will
make it easier for the executor of your estate.
Of course, the other option, if you are elderly
or facing a terminal illness, is to give those sentimental items to those you
want while you are still able to.
I'm not advocating "giving away the farm", but maybe the old
photo of great grandpa tilling the farm with a mule.
Video Tape?
Depending upon the circumstances, you may want
to consider making a video tape.
It shouldn't be a sad, tear-jerking thing, but rather addressing the
joys and pleasures of your life that you might want to share. It could be recollections of your
youth, courtship and marriage or other stories that you might wish to pass on
to children, grandchildren or even great grandchildren.
Funeral Arrangements
You may want to make those in advance - pick a
cemetery, a lot, a marker, etc.
You can then pre-pay and avoid having to have someone else make those
decisions while under emotional stress.
Why this Article?
There are several reasons why I wrote this
article. First, you probably need
to be reminded. We are all good at
putting off what we don't want to do. Second, you owe it to your family and
loved ones. Third, I just finished my Living Will and Power of Attorney for
Health Care Decisions. It didn't
hurt. If I can do it, so can
you. I didnŐt even need a shot of
Novocain.
Trust me, you'll feel better afterward. It's a
little like walking out of the dentist office after having that checkup you had
been putting off. It makes you
feel a little better about yourself.
In your heart, and in the back of your mind, you know you should be
doing this. Times sneaks by.
It's a Certainty
Try it.
You'll like it. You'll fee better.
It's a Certainty.