BACKTRACKING
The Noble Outhouse
by
Terry Hogan
The
outhouse had a practical name and a practical use. It was cold as the devil in the winter time. It was smelly and full of bugs and
spiders and other creepy crawlers during the summer. If you were unlucky, you
might find a choice between the Sears catalog slick pages or corn cobs. The
outhouse was often subject to ill-conceived humor on Halloween. You could find
it on naughty post cards when looking for something to mail back home. So what more is there to be said? A little.
The
outhouse served a practical purpose in rural America. It even worked fairly well in small towns with big
lots. But with increased
populations, outhouses, aka privies, became a problem. One familyÕs outhouse was often too near
another familyÕs well, or residence.
Disease and odor became a problem.
The
outhouse also was a remarkably unpleasant exercise in the dead of winter,
perhaps exceeded only by the same trip made on a hot summer day with no
breeze. For those lucky ones who
havenÕt had the opportunity to fully experience the outhouse on a hot summer
day, think of one of those over-used porta-toilets on a hot day, minus the deodorizers.
Those
resourceful New England farmers had a better idea. They brought the outhouse indoors. At least right next to indoors. Back in the early 1970Õs, I worked out of an office near
Northfield, Massachusetts. It was
a big old two story farmhouse that was connected on the first floor and the
second floor, to the barn. On the second floor, there was a door at the back of
the house that opened directly into the hayloft of the barn. On the first
floor, there was a door that connected into a hallway that led to the barn so
that you could reach the barn without having to step outside. More interestingly, the hall had a side
door that when open, presented you with a single hole outhouse. Thus you had an outhouse without having
to go outside. The outhouse was a
small projection to the hallway that was largely hidden by the house and the barn. Because it projected out, it presumably
could be maintained from the outside when necessary. Of course it was not in use by the 1970s, but it was quite
an innovative solution to the bitter New England cold and snow.
We
are an ingenious species and most of us think we know what an outhouse looks
like. But we might be wrong. Our government, the Library of Congress
to be exact, has some amazing photos of the lowly outhouse. There were
outhouses built along the side of the Mississippi so that what was deposited
flowed south. There is also
a photo of the old family car, upended and made to good use after its traveling
days were over. Probably it wasnÕt
a family pleaser to begin with.
But
then, how about the double-decker outhouse? Details are lacking, but I assume, or at least hope, there
was an enclosed shaft between the first and second floor. If not the first floor occupant would
have to fear the coming of the full moon. But it is not one of a kind! I also found that Gays, Illinois has a
historic two-story outhouse preserved and restored, complete with a blue
ÒHistoric Two-Story Outhouse 1872Ó below a sign saying ÒTOURIST ACTIVITIESÓ. I
canÕt present the photo in the article as it has a copyright, but I have given
the Internet address at the end of the article. Where else but The Zephyr would you find information about the Gay
double-decker outhouse?
In
a small town in Massachusetts, I saw a similar approach to indoor/outdoor
plumbing. The store was built up
against a pretty little river that tumbled across a rocky shelf. The back of the store was built out
over the river. At the back of the
store was the outhouse. Looking
through the hole in the wood seat, one could watch the river flow by below.
One
of the next great steps forward from the outhouse was indoor plumbing. The only problem with the indoor
plumbing was that it had to go somewhere.
Early on, that was generally a straight shot to the nearest river,
stream, creek or ditch. Although
this was pretty convenient for the household, it was not a good thing for those
located downstream. This was
particularly true during floods.
Galesburg
is now blessed with a relatively well-behaved Cedar Fork. It is now just a concrete ditch to
expedite flow into, through and out of Galesburg. It wasnÕt always so.
For years, sewage and other items were dumped, spilled, or otherwise
conveyed by pipe, ditch or container to Cedar Fork. It was the Òout of sight,
out of mindÓ years for waste. Most
of this ÒstuffÓ was transported to the innocent landowners downstream. But such was the way of the day.
However,
from time to time, the little Cedar Fork would rebel to the insults and flood
its banks bringing the unwanted and unmentionable to float about the low spots
of West Main Street in Galesburg. Cars and beasts alike were forced to avoid or
travel through it. It was a little like the toilet backing up and overflowing,
but on a grander scale.
This
brought the problem back to home.
What goes down the pipe doesnÕt always travel downstream far enough to
be somebody elseÕs problem. Cedar Fork had become a problem for Galesburg. The outhouse became the indoor plumbing
that became the tributary to Cedar Fork.
Wastewater
treatment was the answer. Sewage
going to Cedar Fork had to be intercepted and routed to a wastewater treatment
plant.
But
the outhouse was a source of jokes as well as a source of pollution. For example, one that I came across:
An Indian chief assembled the young men of his
tribe and asked, "Who threw outhouse over cliff?" Nobody spoke up.
Again the chief asked. Again there was silence. The chief went on saying,
"Many moons ago, George Washington cut down cherry tree." "He
confess. He get no whipping." "So tell me - who push outhouse over
cliff?" Running Wind, a boy of ten and the chief's son, raised his hand.
"I push outhouse over cliff." The chief smacked the kid hard on his
rear end. Running Wind said, "George Washington no get hit by
father." The chief said, "George Washington's father not in cherry
tree when he chop it down."
The
outhouse became a part of history and those who had first hand experience with
it did not mourn its loss.
As
a part of history, even the lowly outhouse is not allowed to lie in rot. As
they say, one manÕs dump (no pun intended) is another manÕs treasure. It seems that the outhouse was often
used to dispose of old bottles and other unwanted items that are antiques
now. So, if you remember where
Grandpa and GrandmaÕs old outhouse sat, you might want to buy the book ÒThe
Secrets of Privy DiggingÓ and you too
can dig for gold. But remember
what Grandma always said, wash your hands before eating.
Reference:
http://www.bottlebooks.com/privyinf.htm (to
find information on ÒThe Secrets of Privy DiggingÓ)
http://rootslady.com/The_Outhouse/outhouse_001.htm
(Source of Indian Chief joke)
http://www.jldr.com/2storyohgaysillinois.html (Gay, Illinois double-decker)
tmh
9-13-05