Ira Smolensky
A tornado in Chicago
Last Friday was a
strange day.
First, I got an
offer to go on the air for Fox News, which I turned down. Later, my wife Marge and I discovered
that our Honda Civic Hybrid gets better gas mileage in traffic jams than on the
open highway. Just as we were
marveling at that little nougat of information, we got to see the Chicago
skyline standing up starkly against the brooding backdrop of a tornado- spewing
blackened sky. The inclement,
doom-laden weather, in turn, brought us face to face with none other than Òhis
honorÓ Mayor Richard M. Daley.
ThatÕs when the real
fun started.
I guess I should
start at the beginning.
Last April, Marge
and I got 4 tickets for this past SaturdayÕs White Sox game. It was to be a family outing. Little did we know that fate would
intervene, snatching our son Matt and his wife Misty off to California. But we were brave and arranged to go to
the game with friends instead.
So, Thursday night,
Marge packed for a Chicago trip. Friday
morning we went off to work. When
I got to my office, there was a phone message from an operative with FOX
News. They wanted a local
political scientist to provide on-air commentary regarding the Hare-Zinga race
in the 17th Congressional District. Finally, I would have an opportunity to achieve the fame I
so richly do not deserve.
But then prudence
got the better of me. What if I
said one of the candidates supported a national health care system and FOX,
through some miracle of technological flummery, made it come out, Òso and so is
a communistic fascist pig who hates America.Ó So I turned chicken and named names. Bob Siebert at Knox and Jim Winship at
Augustana College would be much better alternatives, I told the caller. The dirty deed done, I slunk away to my
class on Profiles in Courage.
In the afternoon,
Marge and I took off for Chicago in our new Honda Civic Hybrid. Cruising up Rte. 34 to Rte. 80, we were
getting about 44 miles per gallon (mpg).
Then we got onto Rte. 55.
Soon we were mired in heavy traffic. We noticed the indicator telling us we were getting over 50
mpg for the last part of the trip.
Apparently, you donÕt use much gas in a Honda Civic Hybrid when you are
slamming along at 20 miles per hour.
Soon we had bigger
fish to fry.
As we came within
spitting distance of the Chicago skyline, we could see the familiar array of
lofty buildings dwarfed by an unworldly darkened sky. We turned on the news channel and heard that tornados were
approaching Rogers Park, a north Chicago neighborhood. The sky was still ominous as we got off
of Lake Shore Drive, found a parking garage, and then hoofed it to our favorite
hotel.
We asked the desk
clerk for a room in the basement.
The 4th floor was the best she could do. We got our luggage upstairs and looked
out the window. It was pouring
buckets. We were ravenously
hungry. We figured we better eat
close by. So we ran across the
street to a snooty looking steakhouse.
They told us that, for hoi polloi like us, there was an hour and a half wait. We said no thank you and turned to leave. Standing just behind us was Richard M.
Daley, the mayor of Chicago, who we jostled gently as we left.
The rain had slowed
down, so we made plans to find an eatery more in line with our social
standing. I asked Marge if she had
seen who was behind us. She told
me she hadnÕt. So I pulled her
back to the doorway and told her to have a gawk at the Mayor.
ÒHeÕs short,Ó she said.
The worst of the
storm had passed, but there was still intrigue in the air, like at the end of a
great mystery novel. We found a nice
place to eat and had a romantic evening.
The next day, we met our friends and saw the Sox score a comeback
victory.
I didnÕt say
anything to Mayor Daley. I donÕt
believe in accosting celebrities.
They need their privacy, too.
But I did think about him.
I thought about him in terms of Òaccountability,Ó the catch term that
has been applied to school reform by figures as disparate as Daley and
President Bush. I wondered how accountable
the big guys are for the work they do.
Where are the ÒresultsÓ they demand from others.
DonÕt get me
wrong. I like some things about
Daley. He loves his town and he
loves his job, both prerequisites for being the mayor of a big city. And he is comfortable rubbing shoulders
with common folk.
But the Mayor has
not made much of a dent in urban blight.
And his school reform campaign was mostly a failure.
To solve deep-rooted
problems like these, it would take a combination of tornado-like strength and
angelic goodness.
Now thatÕs a hybrid
I would really like to see in action.