Ira Smolensky
Hillary Clinton is not a
monster . . .
Such
moments are to be expected in the heat of an especially sizzling political
campaign.
Samantha
Power, a Harvard professor who advises—correct that—advised Barack
Obama on foreign policy, opined to a Scottish reporter that Hillary Clinton is
a ruthless ÒmonsterÓ who would do anything it takes, no matter how unethical, to
win the Democratic nomination for president.
Inhabiting
the ivory tower of academia as she does, Professor Power thought that her assessment
was Òoff the record.Ó
In
that the lass was just a wee bit na•ve.
The
upshot was an ill-timed embarrassment for the Obama campaign, for which Professor
Power, not unlike Mary Queen of Scots, paid with her head (which is to say that
the good professor was forced to resign in disgrace from the Obama campaign).
All
in all, with Power properly apologetic and the Clinton campaign doing some
embarrassing name calling of its own (likening Obama to special prosecutor Ken
Starr of Monica Lewinski notoriety), the incident was over in a hurry.
Indeed,
it all happened so quickly that, so far as I can tell, no one actually
investigated PowerÕs indictment of Clinton to see if it was true or false, an
omission this column seeks to address.
According
to my WebsterÕs New Collegiate Dictionary (which my 5th grade
teacher gave me way back in 1959), a monster is 1) Òan animal or plant
departing greatly in form or structure from the usual type of the species,Ó 2)
a fabulous or actually existing animal of strange, grotesque, or horrible
form,Ó 3) Òany enormous animal or thing,Ó or 4) Òa person of unnatural
ugliness, cruelty, etc.Ó
There
is, of course, a lot of room for creative interpretation here, especially if
one was in the mood to stretch a point or two. But the truth of the matter is that scientific analysis of
Senator Clinton in light of the definition above proves conclusively that she
is not a monster. (Off the record,
similar analysis also proves conclusively that Senator Obama is not Ken Starr.)
With
regard to definition 1), careful observation indicates that, while Clinton is,
in fact, highly adept at hurling pejorative rhetoric at her opponents without
the least regard for fairness, this actually proves that she is a supremely
ÒusualÓ (or common) example of her species, the American politician. (Ironically enough, in his hesitancy to
stoop to ClintonÕs level, and his stubborn commitment to a campaign based on
Òhope,Ó it is Obama who actually is a monstrous freak of nature. As Clinton would put it, Òshame on you
Barack Obama.Ó)
Likewise,
skipping to criterion 4), while ClintonÕs strategy may be cruel and even ugly,
it is not ÒunnaturallyÓ so.
Republicans and Democrats alike have long employed a strategy of
dampening popular enthusiasm for politics rather than risking any real
disturbance to the status quo.
Negative ads and long boring campaigns have provided a solid basis for
the dominance of our two major political parties despite their abject failures
in the realm of public policy.
As
for criteria 2) and 3), Clinton is simply not Òstrange,Ó Ògrotesque,Ó
ÒhorribleÓ or ÒenormousÓ enough to be accurately described as a monster.
I
therefore conclude that Hillary Clinton is not a monster.
On
the other hand, there is some basis for calling Barack Obama a monster, albeit
a lovable one, for his unnatural effort to take American politics out of the
gutter.
Of
course, as my dear departed Mom often told me, there are worse things to be
than a monster.
For
example, not to mention any names, one could be an out and out hypocrite, haranguing her opponent for
his alleged inexperience (perhaps to draw attention from her own rather limited
experience in office) and then attempting to woo his supporters with the lure
of the vice-presidency.
A
Clinton-Obama ticket might make sense, I suppose, if the Clintons had not been
zealously proclaiming Obama unfit for the presidency.
Sounds
like someone is not being completely honest with the American people, or with
herself.
As
my Mom might have put it, ÒShame on you, Hillary Clinton, shame on you.Ó
3/17/08