THE FLUB-A-DUB AWARD

You can’t beat March. You get a little bit of everything. Snow, sleet, ice, rain, 20’s, 70’s. I wouldn’t be too surprised to see a hurricane.

The Flubs are blooming better than the flowers. Bush and his cronies are always in the running for a Flub. I have to admit, I’m a bit obsessed with the goofy guy. I still can’t believe a majority of Americans would vote for the boob. It definitely is not something anyone who voted for him is bragging about. There actually is a mental health diagnosis for someone making such a bad mistake — gross stupidity. Caused mainly from a bad case of Republicanism.

The primary election was kind of one big Flub. The same old story: Old government cronies who have never made a living any other way, buying our votes. A couple newcomers won locally, which was refreshing. Still, there are fewer and fewer challenges inside the parties. No one wants to intentionally get involved in the new millennium's biggest Flub to date — government servitude. (Although I hear the health-care benefits and retirement plan are top of the line. Compliments of guess who?)

I get a kick out of people who think we’re the greatest country on earth. That we’re the center of the universe, exceptionally virtuous, admirable, superior, that we own God, and that he smiles down upon only us. “God Bless America.” I bunch of misguided Flubbers.

This month's Flub has to go to the Senate Democrats, who ran way from Russ Feingold's call to censure President Bush for illegally spying on Americans faster than they’d run away from a rabid Republican. To quote Feingold, “Our job is not to stand up and cheer when the President breaks the law.” Even Durbin and Obama winced at the thought of rebuking the King. I was extremely disappointed, and let them know. To quote, I think I said, 'If you don’t get a spine in the near future, you can count on one less vote.’ I’m pretty sure neither one cared, cause they didn’t bother to e-mail back. And that’s our government leaders for March, 2006. Pretty much all Flubbers.