LEAVE IT TO PEEVER

A New Year, more peeves.

-- Bumper sticker of the week: I still miss my ex, but my aim is improving.--

Quote of the week: ''Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.''

''There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither works.''

''Never miss a good chance to shut up.''

''There are three kinds of men: The one that learns by reading, the few that learn by observation, and the rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.'' -- Will Rogers--

New Year resolutions:

­­ A peeve a week is a pretty good streak.

­­ I'm going to try to gain some weight.

­­ I've never been convinced exercise is good for you.

­­ Running for alderman is my destiny. At least that's what my psychiatrist says.

­­ I'm going to get at least two haircuts this coming year.

­­ I'm thinking of getting me one of those penis enlarger pumps. I bet it never gets a headache.

­­ No more Mr. Nice Guy. From now on, I'm going to let those right-winged Christians know right where I stand.

­­ We better all pray for peace. It is our collective destiny to live in harmony with one another.--

Some 2003 predictions:

­­ It is going to be a hard year for Galesburg. Maytag will be the least of our problems as we struggle to define ourselves as a community.

­­ War will once again haunt us. Hundreds of thousands of citizens will take to the streets in protest.

­­ Universal health care will get a very big push from a very unlikely source.

­­ Watch out for Ashcroft's detention camps. They're going to become the fastest growing cities in America

­­ Many charitable organizations will be chastised for their profit motives. Charity is not meant to be profitable. Hell, most for-profit businesses are not profitable. If a non-profit charity has profit in its mission statement, call the IRS.

­­ The weather is going to change,

­­ America is going to lose its taste for fast-food. This year will mark the rapid decline of interstate cuisine.

­­ You would think Illinois' economic woes could only get better. They won't. No one in Springfield is smart enough, or has guts enough, to raise the state income tax. Until said time, we're history.

­­ Government agencies are going to face sever cuts. Knox County and the City of Galesburg are both going to have to face laying off people. Taxing bodies hate to do this. They realize that the pockets they pull money out of are deep. They're ours. And they're getting empty.--

Shop Galesburg: Over the next 2-4 years it is imperative that people do their shopping in Galesburg. The cheapest price is not always necessarily the best deal. It is tempting to go to Sam's, or save a little sales tax in Davenport. But if you have any sense of community left in you, we need to support local retailers. Community sometimes requires sacrifice.--

A New Year: America cannot survive by promoting economic greed, violence, and intolerance. Our resolve must be strong and enduring: Where there is hatred, we must counter with love; where their is intolerance, we must speak of Christ's overwhelming acceptance of everyone; where there is suffering, we must show compassion; where there is violence, we must stand firm in our commitment to peacemaking; and where there is injustice, we cannot be afraid to peeve. For it is in peeving those who would attempt to control us that we gain everlasting satisfaction.

Best of luck in the New Year. Both the world and Galesburg could use a few miracles.



Uploaded to The Zephyr website December 30, 2002

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