LEAVE IT TO PEEVER

Chicks groin-shot Bush

— Bumper sticker of the week: Dumbfuck Mountain, starring George W. Bush and Dick Cheney, with guest appearances by Condi Rice and Antonin (call me Tony) Scalia.

— Quote of the week: “If you’re servin’ the devil, all of the clover leaves and rabbits’ feet aren’t goin’ to help you any.” Ethal Corn

“Why, you know that there’s a higher power if y’ just look out ... they’s somebody, somethin’, behind it.” Kenny Runion, from The Foxfire 40th Anniversary Book

— Book of the week: Marley & Me, by John Grogan. It’s a good read, particularly if you like dogs. On a scale of 0-10, I’d put it at about a 7. Well worth the time.

— Restaurant of the week: Joy Garden. This is some of the best Chinese food, anywhere, much less in Galesburg. And it’s a super value. Lunch carries me thru two meals, with most being under $5.00. It’s pretty much a take-out, but that’s ok, I don’t like eating around others anyway.

— Dixie Chicks take it right to Bush: The Chicks take five Grammy Awards with their album Taking the Long Way and their Grammy winning best song “Not Ready to Make Right.” I have to say, I loved it. They smacked old Bush right in the crotch. As you’ll recall, Bush and his right-wing cronies tried to ruin their career after they made some remarks concerning his intelligence. As you can see, he’s about as good at ruining someone’s career as he is governing the country. Congratulations to the Chicks for defending the first amendment and not backing down to Bush’s vengeance.

— How to spot a right-wing, Christian, Republican across the room:

• Look for glowing, red eyes.

• They’ll be describing Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, and Bill 0’ Reilly as Saviors.

• Look for the smirk, although it’s a little faded after the last election.

• They may be wearing a white sheet disguised as a white shirt.

• The ring on their cell phone plays “Onward Christian Soldiers.”

• Since they haven’t evolved, they may look a bit rough.

• Yell out, “Go Hillary,” or “Go Obama,” and watch them start to twitch. (Warning: You may want to have a straight jacket available. This one can easily get out of hand.)

— Democracy, or rule by the people, cannot work unless economic inequality and capitalist exploitation, are kept in check, allowing for greater equality of political participation. Marx, while wrong on a few of his assumptions, was right on this one. Today, corporate influence is running the country. In simpler terms, Bush is sucking the life out of the working and middle classes. Without some kind of monitoring, or regulation, we’re screwed. Marx figured that out also.

—Why do women wear crosses deeply snuggled in their cleavage? I hate to stare at a woman’s religion.

— Our new mayor so far hasn’t showed me much. Jobs, jobs, jobs. Of course, he didn’t mention those jobs would all be minimum wage. The only thing I’ve seen him do so far is take Paulgrove, Kendall, Payton, Vasquez and Lafferty with him, to Nowheresville. Together, they take up space that could be better used by, well, just about anyone. It would be nice to see maybe one, just one, creative idea come from this elected body. As Galesburg nears the 30,000 population mark, minus the 2,000 prisoners, leaving us at 28,000, they sit there and play games on their, or rather our, computers. The only person who answers their e-mail is Spah. I’m assuming the rest are too busy with solitaire.