LEAVE IT TO PEEVER

Donut hole wisdom

– Bumper sticker of the week: Security cannot be based on military control.

– Quote of the week: "If you can afford to order a delivery pizza, you can afford to tip the driver. He or she is not working for your pleasure, and you can bet the pizza joint is ripping them off." From The Peever, Give Me a Break

– I like the new non-smoking law in public places. There should be no exceptions. Ask a smoker, they'll tell you.

– To Gov. Blagojevich: The toll roads leading to and in Chicago are stupid. They are lousy roads, always being worked on, and not worth the extra money to travel on. They are major rip-offs. If the state needs extra money for the CTA in Chicago, or for trips back and forth to Springfield on your jet, how about raising the state income tax? Then at least people who are working will be the one's paying for such nonsense.

– Some things you might not know about Galesburg:

• Our favorite son, Carl Sandburg, was a socialist.

• Cottage was built for Protestants, St. Mary's for Catholics. Non-believers were to go to a vet, which helps explain why there are so many.

• Our founding fathers were prohibitionists. They were voted out of office shortly thereafter.

• Galesburg was at one time a strong union town. We took pride in having good paying jobs, with benefits. Our labor force was second to none. Then along came GREDA.

• The railroad owns Galesburg. The city has never made any demands of them, nor have we ever received much of any kind of compensation for the inconvenience they cause us. We are to be satisfied that they have provided good paying jobs for us, which so far hasn't put a dime in my pocket.

• The good-old-boys have provided most of the leadership in Galesburg since its founding. And a swell job they have done. We've lost population over the last 30 years, our tax base has continually gone down, people are going elsewhere to shop, and Wal-Mart screwed up Seminary Street. But hey, who's complaining?

– Hillary is back. Never count a Clinton out.

– Love is a very gentle thing.

– Bush doesn't have much time left. Hold your breath. I feel another disaster coming on.

– Seek the company of those who are looking, and run from those who claim to have found it.

– Some donut shoppe wisdom:

• If it looks like a donut, smells like a donut, feels like a donut, and tastes like a donut, don't let a cop see it.

• The older you get, the more likely it is you'll forget to pay.

• A hole in the center of a donut is clearly not for the customer’s benefit.

• Republicans never eat donuts with sprinkles on top. Way too risky.

• Never buy a paper until you see if someone else did.

• Never discuss same sex marriages.

• The men love to talk about sex. The women love to talk about anything else.

• Donuts have no redeeming qualities, which is probably why they taste so good. Remember, "A donut a day keeps the oatmeal away."

• It doesn't get any better than that first cup of coffee in the morning, with a group of friends who you can rely on to disagree with just about everything you say.