LEAVE IT TO PEEVER

I represent a vast left-wing conspiracy

– Bumper sticker of the week: Bush bin lyin’

– Quote of the week: From The Labor Movement:

And now there is NAFTA, which is nothing more,

Than the same old thing once again at our door.

It’s not about globalization, I’m sure,

I think we’re right back where we always were:

Cheap labor.

– Management 101: You got to be doing something wrong. And when I find it, they got to think I’m doing something right.

– The naked dancing llama:

• If you’re going to run around naked, you better live in a warm climate.

• The fewer baths you take, the fewer friends you make.

• Nudist colonies are not places for tinny whinnies.

• Some people should not dance naked.

• There’s nothing wrong with being naked. It eliminates all false pretenses, and all false measurements.

• The naked dancing llama is thinking of starting a naked commune. Please forward all applications to The Peever, with a picture.

– CHS buys Cottage: Never let it be said big companies are smart. They must need a tax write-off. I missed this one. I didn’t think they’d go through with it. The state is all that stands in their way, and I’m sure they could care less. This will be a not-for-profit selling to a for-profit, which you wouldn’t think would be legal. There won’t be a profit. It will go to pay their debt. The bottom line, as I understand it, will still have to be zero. A give-away. This kind of transaction is getting some attention in Washington. Senator Grassley, chairman of the Finance Committee, smells a rat. These non-profits use public monies. So do I.

– Keep an eye on the farmland we now call Industrial Park II: Ah, the sweet smell of spring. And $10 a bushel soybeans. Alas, there seems nothing to do with the park but plant it. Watch who does the planting. Surely it won’t be the same farmers who sold it at an inflated price, to us. Whoever does the planting, it will be interesting to see the contract. Since we’re the owners, we should surely get a look. I wonder what the prevailing price is to rent an acre of farmland? I’m betting around a dollar.

– Bush be nimble, Bush be quick. A vote for Bush, and you got to be sick.

– Wackos by Weik:

• Rush Limbaugh: This guy is quite a piece of work. There doesn’t seem to be a lie he doesn’t mind telling. I thought maybe an addiction would humble him some, but I got a notion it would take a lobotomy.

• Ann Coulter: Here’s a gal who’s got permanent PMS. She thinks Joe McCarthy was the victim of a witch hunt. Here’s a taste of her compassionate Republicanism: "Where contemplating college liberals, you really regret once again that John Walker is not getting the death penalty. We need to execute people like John Walker in order to physically intimidate liberals, by making them realize that they can be killed, too." This is one sweet little honey.

• Bill O’Reilly: Just another right-wing wacko. O’Reilly was sure there were weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. "If Bush lied, I’ll be the first one to hang him." I hear O’Reilly and Mel Gibson are good buddies. Maybe Mel will lend him his cross?

• Pat Robertson: God recently told him Bush will be re-elected in a landslide. "God’s blessing him." This guy’s a nut case who must be drinking too much communion wine.