LEAVE IT TO PEEVER

2008

— Bumper sticker of the week: I Miss Bill

— Quote of the week: “But here the empire is finished, and I believe that before the end of this century, it will be finished in the rest of the world. We will see the burial of the empire of the eagle.” Hugo Chavez, President, Venezuela

— I’ve always been wary of people that God talks to.

— I’m sitting here writing the peeves on my back porch in Hot Springs Village, Arkansas. I have mixed emotions about living among people who have money. They’re all Republicans. I’m probably the only Democrat in a 25 mile radius. While I’m not happy listening to how ungrateful the poor are, or how much they steal from the rich on such worthless things as health-care, housing, or food, it does bring a smile to my face to be in such fertile Peeving territory.

— I like all the prescription drug commercials. Ends up you’d be better off with the disease than the side effects.

— I don’t mind conservatives, although they do get on my nerves.

— Age of Paranoia: Terrorists everywhere, lurking in the dark recesses of our mind. Gee, maybe I should hide in the basement, clutching that handgun I so desperately admire, and pray for peace.

— Lighten up a little:

• Is it possible to have Railroad Days and nobody know it?

• Why would you bother ordering a diet coke with a Whopper?

• Disney World is a people trap operated by a mouse.

• Is a Super Wal-Mart and a Menard's coming to town called "progress"?

• I’d like to meet the person who puts those little plastic things on the end of shoelaces.

• If every business in the country goes to China or India, who’s going to be left to exploit us?

• Some people say globalization is good. So far, all I can make out of it is a sorry excuse to exploit the world for cheap labor.

• Right when I think I’m starting to get it, along comes another brain-teaser. It’s usually a politician.

— Universal health-care: The rich call universal health-care "socialism." I wonder what they call Medicare?

— Carl Sandburg: Seems our hometown hero leaned a bit to the left. And it wasn’t because of a stroke. I’ve read some of his poems, but never really thought much about the poet. From a few people that knew him, I have heard him described as a son-of-a-bitch, but I figure poets are an odd lot to begin with, so I never thought much of it. Then one Sunday night, on "60 Minutes," I heard Andy Rooney use a Carl Sandburg quote. It was a blistering attack on capitalism. Sparking my attention, I did a little research. Seems our Mr. Sandburg embraced socialism in his Milwaukee and Chicago days. He even hung out with Eugene Debs. This was not too unusual in Sandburg’s time. People actually thought about what was going on and acted accordingly. I still haven’t been able to whip the grin off my face. To think our hometown poet laureate, a socialist. It seems so appropriate.

— Keep your eye on Obama. Not to be confused with Osama. Obama, the next President of the United States.