LEAVE IT TO PEEVER

London bridges falling down

— Bumper sticker of the week: I love my country ... but I think we should start seeing other people.

— Quote of the week: “The only man I know who behaves sensibly is my tailor; he takes my measurements anew each time he sees me. The rest go on with their old measurements and expect me to fit them.” George Bernard Shaw

— Bush declares, “It’s worth the sacrifice.” Easy for him to say. There are no blood stains on his fancy tailored suit. With no weapons of mass destruction having been found, the new battle cry becomes, “We have to stay the course. What would they do without us?” The question should be, “What will they do with us?” Tens of thousands dead, a destroyed infrastructure, and a serious tip in the balance of power, putting Iraq on the brink of civil war. Now we hear, “We can’t possibly leave. They’d kill one another.” I suppose it’s better that we kill them? All the wrong questions being asked by all the right fools.

— Some positive peeverisms (for you cynics out there):

1.For that new business park, I hear the Out-House Builders of America are dancing in the non-existent streets.

2.The North Broad Street house remodeling project has been a contractor's delight. A hundred more jobs like that, and we could call it a housing boom.

3.Wal-Mart has their building up for sale on their internet site. They’re apparently planning on moving or closing. We can only hope. My confidential sources, whom I will never divulge, prison or no prison, tell me a Kohl’s is interested. That would definitely be a step up.

4.Someone is remodeling the old theater, turned church, next to Big Lots. Plus putting up what looks like a strip mall. My confidential source tells me it will be a Marshall’s. I don’t have a clue what a Marshall’s is, but I suppose that’s good.

5.The city council is said to be talking about some new parks, and fixing up the ones we have. That would be good.

6.You can’t beat the July 4th fireworks at Lake Storey. People get all bent out of shape over the traffic. Bunch of country hicks whining about a 10 minute traffic jam. Visit Chicago for a day. That will cure you.

— Speaking of Chicago: I went there a couple weeks ago for my son's birthday. Had a great time. Ate at a new restaurant called Alinea, which a local doctor is part owner of, and went to a Sox–Cubs game. The restaurant experience was great, and the Cubs won, making that nothing short of a miracle, so I was extremely pleased by both. Every time I’m in Chicago, they hold the Gay Pride Parade. I’m not really sure if there is any significance to that, but it makes me a little nervous. I assume everyone realizes I don’t care about a person's sexual preference. For that matter, I don’t care what animal preference a person has. But I have never thought you should make a nuisance of yourself to prove a point. Men wearing see-thru jock straps with a red boa wrapped around their neck is not my idea of good publicity. Still, I try not to judge. Or laugh. I can’t for the life of me figure out what they are trying to prove. It’s kind of a stick-it-in-your-face, shock approach. It’s like me going to church on Sunday morning, singing in the choir, and joining the Rotary on Monday. It just doesn’t add up.

— Stealing the memorial donations at a funeral is just about as low as you can go: Surprisingly enough, that’s exactly what happened recently. Somebody lifted the memorials right out of the hearse. One can only hope that the user of said funds will experience some real bad luck in the real near future.

— Iraq will never resemble the free market, pro-American, Israel friendly democracy that the Bush administration promises. The presence of American troops in Iraq has made this country less safe, and more hated around the world. Tony Blair, Bush’s cohort in the war against Iraq, has now been introduced to what it means to promote war rather than peace. London bridges came falling down. His first response, “We’re going to get even.” There’s nowhere to go with that but down.