LEAVE IT TO PEEVER

Books for sale

– Bumper sticker of the week: Oh, we so need another revolution.

– Quote of the week: "If these towns have a future – indeed, if the Midwest has a future – it depends on immigrants. Midwestern cities know this. Every urban area is losing native-born residents. The only cities that are growing and thriving, such as Chicago and Minneapolis, are pulling in immigrants and building a future. Caught in the Middle, Richard Longworth

– Careless mistakes you just don't want to make:

• Don't take your eyes off the AmerenIP tree trimmers, unless your aim is to have half-trees .

• When walking down the street, keep your eyes open for uncovered manholes. (And why do they put them right in the center of the street?).

• Never underestimate the power of short-shorts and a tank top.

• Forget suicide. Homicide works just as well.

• Never follow anyone who claims to know "the truth."

• If you're going to put a cucumber in your pants, keep it realistic. Otherwise, you might scare someone.

• Never turn your back on a lawyer. a car salesman, or a doctor. And for God's lack, don't bend over.

• Finally, remember to keep small kids away from dogs. Something bad might happen to the dog.

– Saudi textbook refers to Christians as apes and swine. Now that's not very nice, even if it does have a certain ring to it.

– Bush should be impeached: The mainline press won't report it, but impeachment is still being talked about in Congress. Of course, I wouldn't hold my breath. Most of the Congressmen have been neutered. They're pretty harmless.

– The problem with making a profit is that it is usually highly unprofitable for most of us.

– For my right-wing Christian friends out there who might be thinking about becoming a liberal. Here is a must read list of books for the up and coming liberal in you:

1. A People's History of the United States, by Howard Zinn

2. Nickel and Dimed, by Barbara Ehrenreich

3. The Gnostic Gospels, by Elaine Pagels

4. Working, and Race, by Studs Terkel

5. Intellectual Origin of American Radicalism, by Staughton Lynd

6. Labor's Untold Story, by Richard Boyer and Herbert Morais

7. Walden, by Henry David Thoreau

8. Silent Spring, by Rachel Carson

9. The Liberal Imagination, by Lionel Trilling

10. The Affluent Society, by John Kenneth Galbraith

Sorry, you'll have to give up your comic books and subscription to National Review.

– And, of course, just in case you still don't get it, The Peever has his own books for sale:

• The Sixties: I Think I Was There.

• The Bush League: How to Avoid the Draft and Still Become Commander-in-Chief.

• 100 Ways to Fix Anything So It Tastes Like Chicken.

• How to Get Rid of That Booger on the End of Your Finger,

• How to Get a Job: Writing a Résumé in Spanish and Chinese.

• And my latest, 50 Different Sexual Positions With an Inflatable Doll.

You can get one of these books for $29.95 or any two for $59.90. (Just trying to make a profit, the good old-fashioned American way.) Postage is additional, but I will include an autograph for free).