LEAVE IT TO PEEVER

-Bumper sticker of the week: America the beautiful, who are you beautiful for?

-Quotes of the week: “According to some commercials, driving an SUV means you support terrorists. The answer is the hybrid gas-electric car, which only supports terrorists when going uphill.” Jon Stewart

“Whenever there’s one of those bogus oil shortages, the oil companies pass out those stupid brochures, “Fifty Ways to Save Energy.” They spill 80 million gallons in Alaska and they want you to go to the bathroom in the dark.” Jay Leno

-Bush had a colonoscopy: I could have told them what they’d find. He’s full of it.

-August 2, 1931: Albert Einstein urges all scientists to refuse military work.

-Register-Mail headline: “Wal-Mart Wows ‘Em.” Shouldn’t that have been, “Wal-Mart Screws ‘Em?” My goal in life is to unionize Wal-Mart. Not one store, cause they’ll just close it. ALL OF THEM. EVERYWHERE. A union specifically for Wal-Mart employees. I’m thinking of calling it, The Mal-Wart Brotherhood and Sisterhood of Screwed Employees. Kind of catchy, don’t you think?

-Jeff Bezos, CEO, Amazon. com., concerning the world wide web: “I believe there’s more innovation ahead of us than behind us.”

-What’s the use of two good ears, if you can’t hear the one’s you love?: How do you make the world a better place to live? I’m remained of the old Boy Scout saying about leaving your campsite cleaner than when you found it. What do you personally do to insure that the world will be a better place when you pass? That’s a hard question. Sorry to make you think. I suppose there are no easy answers to that question. If I had to boil it down to the lowest common denominator, I guess I would have to say that I would feel good leaving this world if I could say on my death bed that I listened, really listened, to the one’s I love. This is harder than it seems. Really listening draws us into intimate relationships, where we make ourselves vulnerable to hurt, disappointment, and loss. It’s easier to turn our earing aids off and watch the television. But that brings us full circle back to the question: What’s the use of two good ears, if you can’t hear those your love? How do you make the world........

-Over the years , I’ve heard people complain about how negative The Zephyr is, how hard we are on those attempting to run the city. “You bash everything.” “You don’t agree with anything,” I will admit, we are pretty tough on the status quo. I call our questioning ‘positive doubt’. I have come to believe that a community, any community, cannot improve by staying the same. Someone has to constantly challenge the status quo. That someone might as well be us. Why let anyone else have all the fun?

-You know you are a Republican if:

* Vietnam and Iraq make sense to you.

* You think corporate welfare is a form of social welfare.

* You think all artists are gay.

* You’re sure Jesus was a capitalist.

* Your favorite bumper sticker is: George W. Bush-American Idol.