LEAVE IT TO PEEVER

Shoot a terrorist for Christ

— Bumper sticker of the week: Of course it hurts: You’re being screwed by an elephant.

— Democrats need to quit acting like Republicans: Joseph Lieberman takes it on the chin in Connecticut. Here’s a big time Democrat trying to buddy-up to Bush, and the Democratic voters in Connecticut give him a wake-up call. Right-wing pundits are claiming a takeover of the Democratic Party by left-wing extremists. I’m claiming it’s a warning to any would-be Democrat out there who thinks he or she is a Republican: If you want to act like a right-wing Republican, then have the nerve and integrity to run as one. You want to buddy up to Bush and his divisive, world domination plans, the next primary, vote Republican. You’ll be on your way.

— How to make an elephant disappear: Vote Democratic.

How to make an ass disappear: Impeach Bush.

— The Earth is melting: This is three showers a day and you still feel sticky weather. The second hottest July on record. I’m beginning to think it’s hell.

— I’ve decided to design a website. I bought “Building a Website for Dummies.” I must be one step beyond dumb, cause it sure is complicated.

— Retiring: I’ve decided to retire. No big deal really. It’s just time. The counseling profession is not what it used to be. Of course, what is? I spend more time recording what I do than actually doing it. Anyway, I’m going to concentrate on my writing. I’d like to try syndicating The Peeves and The Flub’s, if I can find enough underground newspapers interested in such crap. As I stated above, I’m also going to design a website for thepeever.com. I’m not sure what I’ll do on it, other than raise more hell, but it seems like a good idea. I also have a blog in the works to explore the injustices being done to persons receiving mental health and substance abuse treatment. I do have, at least, a little knowledge in this area. I’m going to top all of that off by writing my second book. The first sold 10 copies. Thank God for relatives. I’m thinking of combining elements of “Tuesday’s with Morrie,” and “the Da Vinci Code,” both huge blockbusters. The main character will be a successful college coach who claims to be from the bloodline of Christ. (No, I’m not thinking of Bobby Knight.) The only thing I can’t decide is whether to call it fiction or non-fiction. Anyway, I think retirement is going to be really fulfilling.

— More and more taxes: the city wastes way too much of our money to keep asking us for more and more of it. They really should be paying us for living in Galesburg. More and more people aren’t. They, the city, appears to be severely underachieving, while many struggle to barely make it. We have way too many people, doing not nearly enough, being paid way too much, for doing way too little. Now they want to put a 1% tax on restaurant food and drink. Why not just put toll booths up on all entrances to town and charge a $1.00 toll to get in. After all, with everyone so eager to come here, we could make a fortune, thus being able to afford more people who could do less and still get paid big bucks. The city administrator is going to have to admit, that ain’t a bad idea.

— Shoot a terrorist for Christ: I’m surprised I haven’t seen that message on some of our church bulletin boards. That’s how bad it’s getting. Having been in the ministry, I’m pretty much embarrassed by what I see being pawned off as Christianity nowadays. The Church has steadily grown irrelevant as our need for spirituality has become increasingly necessary. Just about every war currently going on has to do with religion, one thinking theirs is bigger and better than the others. I suppose it wouldn’t be so bad if they just killed one another, but they got to drag the rest of us into it. Frankly, I think we are all the sons and daughters of God, and as such, have no business killing one another. When we do, we are destroying the divine. And I got a notion that’s not good.