One
of lifeÕs difficult lessons
— Bumper sticker of the week: Some
days youÕre the dog. Some days youÕre the hydrant.
— Quote of the week: ÒAmong
politicians and businessmen, ÔpragmatismÕ is the current term for Òto hell with
our children.Ó Edward Abbey
— DarwinÕs theory of evolution
through natural selection is one of the great achievements, if not the single
greatest, of humankind. Anyone who is unclear about the origin of life forms
should look him up.
— Abortion is about pro-choice or
anti-choice. Nothing more, nothing less.
— Golf is a weird game:
¥ Where else would you hear guys yelling
out, ÒWhore.Ó I think they are trying to chase all the women away.
¥ An eagle is a bird everywhere but in
golf.
¥ The less the number, the more you win
by. That doesnÕt happen in any other sport.
¥ Where else would you hear words like
shank, chili dip, and slice except in golf. Maybe in a Jewish deli.
¥ In professional tournament play, you
keep your opponents score. If you make a mistake, your opponent is
disqualified. That ainÕt right.
¥ What the hell is a ÒcasualÓ bunker?
Some moron builds a sand box right in front of the green and they call it
casual.
¥ Where else would you call something
made out of metal a wood?
¥ There is a lot of etiquette used in
golf. Where else do a bunch of guys worry about etiquette. ÒIÕm sorry I was
talking while you were swinging.Ó Who the hell cares?
¥ A wrong swing can produce ground in
flight that outdistances ball in play. The rule book calls this Òdemolition of
course growth.Ó Punishable by a two stroke penalty.
¥ Golf is not ranked as a very tough
sport. Boxing is number one, golf number 51. I bet whoever thought that up
never got in front of John Daly on his way to the bar after a round?
¥ In professional golf, you are not
allowed to ride in a cart, but you are allowed to hire some sucker to carry
your bag. WhatÕs with that?
¥ There are all types of devices that are
suppose to help bad golfers become better golfers. Bad golfers spend a lot of
money buying these devices. They end up being bad golfers with no money.
— An excerpt from my latest book,
ÒThe Path to Heaven is Paved With a Lot of Bull....Ó: I cried out to my fellow
employees: Just how long are we going to take managements bull? The very next
week I had to buy hip-boots.
— Mind games: ItÕs hard to get over
thinking that my way, or in your case, your way, is the only way. Each of our
brains harbor within it the belief that we know the right way of doing things.
Anything. Everything. We tend to believe we know Òthe truth.Ó We fuss and fight
and name-call in a vain attempt to see to it that our way becomes the way
things are done. That our way becomes the conventional wisdom. When all else
fails, we pout. Or start a war. Or call the other guy a lunatic.
Getting over this is no easy matter, and
is one of lifeÕs biggest challenges. As difficult as it is to believe, there
are many roads leading to the same destination. Some of the roads are unpaved
and have dangerous curves, and for that reason they are not as congested as the
freeways. Leaders, in particular,
have a hard time with this notion. They think they know the way. Our political
and religious leaders get mired in this muck. But sooner or later, the
proclaimer of Òthe truth,Ó or Òthe
way,Ó will end up ridiculed and humiliated for not recognizing and attempting
to understand other options. Surprisingly, they never learn one of lifeÕs more
difficult lessons: A straight line may be the shortest distance to a particular
point, but not necessarily the best or the only.