LEAVE IT TO PEEVER
Conquest of
the useless
-Bumper
sticker of the week: Please don’t tell the government what comes after a
trillion.
-Quote of
the week: “A community is like a ship; everyone ought to be prepared to take
the helm.” Henrik
Ibsen
“In times
of change, learners inherit the Earth, while the learned find themselves
beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.” Eric Hoffer
-Conquest
of the useless:
* Teaching
leadership.
* Getting an A in sex
education.
* Scoring a goal when you are behind by ten.
* Winning a Knox
County Board election.
* Paying your home
off only to be confronted with excessive utility bills and real estate taxes.
* Staying alive long
enough to wish you weren’t.
* You run every day
but need new knees.
* You go to all that
trouble to look younger only to realize that you’re going to die just like
the rest of us.
* Exercising while
continuing to smoke.
* Being the worlds
number one javelin thrower.
* Climbing Mt.
Everest.
* Viagra and a four
hour erection.
-Failure of
imagination:
* Redoing the
downtown.
* An industrial park.
* Throwing food away
that could be used to feed people.
* Thirty miles per
gallon.
* Sticking with AmerenIP.
* Taxing everything
known to mankind.
* A Republican.
* The Chamber of
Commerce.
* GREDA.
-Would
anyone giving money to the Orpheum consider buying it and running it as a
business? I figured as much.
-How to
spot a right-wing Protestant minister:
* Watch out for the
polyester suit.
* With a tie that
don’t match.
* They will always be
carrying a King James version of the Bible.
* They always claim
to have had a personal experience with God. So do most mental patients.
* Have you ever seen
a left-handed right-wing minister?
* They will tell you
they know”the way.” I would run at that point.
* They love money.
Most of it goes in their pockets.
* They are not unlike
a politician. They will give you salvation in exchange for your soul. Do not
confuse this with charity. It is tomfoolery.