— Bumper sticker of the week: U.S.
Out Now. How?
— Quote of the week: ÒA
dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, thereÕs no question about
it.Ó George W. Bush
— You know the Republicans are in
bad shape when all the 2008 Presidential contenders are arguing over who is the
most conservative. Let the right-wing pandering begin. I personally think they
all qualify.
— A clear majority of Americans are
living paycheck to paycheck, which is becoming more and more difficult. The
food pantry industry is the fastest growing enterprise in America, thanks to
Bush and his jolly band of misfits.
— The Knox County sex craze: Never
let it be said that Galesburg is not a giving community. WeÕre swopping STDs,
thatÕs sexually transmitted diseases, faster than Wal-Mart is buying Chinese
goods. Passing on STDs requires that you have sex. In the most reliable
national survey, the latest data being from 2003, 43 percent of high school
girls, and 48.5 percent of the boys, which roughly means 45 percent of all high
school students, are reporting that they have been sexually active, making them
at risk for STDs. Knox County is particularly troubled with chlamydia and
gonorrhea, two pesky infections that are ranked number one and number two among
the STDs. While generally not fatal, they are testy little irritations that
require antibiotic treatment. One of the morals of the story: Always ask your
sexual partner for a list of medications they are taking. If antibiotics are
among them, just say no. And always require the male to use a condom. You never
know where that little bugger has been. DonÕt pay any attention to the
do-gooders who suggest that the use of condoms promotes premarital sex and is
immoral. TheyÕre flat out wrong. The condom is your best friend to guard
against STDs, and unwanted pregnancy. The abstinence based lunacy being
preached by right-wing Christians is also wrong. Almost 50 percent have already
said yes. Abstinence based programs should not be receiving federal funds. They
are obviously ÒfaithÓ based. All the faith you have ainÕt going to stop that
little sperm from swimming upstream to meet its destiny. A condom will.
— Two of a kind: Dan Quayle and
George W. Bush.
Some Quaylisms:
¥ ÒThe best things about rain forests is
they never suffer from drought.Ó
¥ ÒA low voter turnout is an indication
of fewer people going to the polls.Ó
¥ ÒIt isnÕt pollution thatÕs harming the
environment. ItÕs the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.Ó
Some Bushisms:
¥ ÒThe vast majority of our imports come
from outside the country.Ó
¥ ÒIf we donÕt succeed, we run the risk
of failure.Ó
¥ ÒRarely is the question asked: Is our
children learning?Ó
¥ ÒWe are ready for any unforeseen event
that may or may not occur.Ó
The fact that these two bozos have speech
impediments leads me to believe that they may have been Siamese twins, attached
at the lips.
— War is terrorism. I thought we
were against that?
— Make love, not war. Hell, do
both. Get married.
— Export jobs-import workers: Not
even Alan Greenspan believes that will work.