LEAVE IT TO PEEVER

Things to be thankful for this Thanksgiving:

— I’m thankful I wasn’t one of the Indians the pilgrims poisoned.

— I’d have really been thankful if I’d have won the mega-millions the other Tuesday. $315 million. Now all I have are shattered dreams.

— I’m thankful I live in a country where you can call the President stupid, an idiot and a moron, and no one argues with you.

— I’m thankful the American public is finally paying some attention to what is going on in Washington.

— I’m glad I’m not a turkey.

— I’m thankful I live in a town where things pretty much stay the same. I hate change.

— I’m thankful that Thanksgiving is on a Thursday, which is one of the days I happen to work.

— I’m thankful I learned somewhere along the line that killing the enemy is only going to piss them off.

— I’d have really been thankful if Bush would have stayed in China. They love him so.

— I’m grateful the Congress and Senate are finally waking up. It must be nearing election time.

— I would be really thankful if the government would start representing a majority of the people.

— I would be extra thankful if a majority of the people started using their brains to think with rather than their ears.

— I’m thankful that 50% of Americans think President Bush should be impeached. But I doubt seriously that we can talk any female into giving him a blow job.

— I’m thankful I was raised as a Democrat. Otherwise, I’d have killed myself by now.

— It would really be something to be thankful for if Dick Cheney turned into a turkey this Thanksgiving.

— It would be a wonderfully thankful Thanksgiving if our troops returned home this holiday season. Alive.

— I’m thankful I didn’t die five years ago. Otherwise, I’d be dead right now.

— Finally, I am thankful, and hopeful, that I will be able to continue peeving you for another five years. By than I should be ready to retire and start living off the government, like so many of the rest of you seem to be doing.

So there! Another Thanksgiving. Praise be to God, Allah, Bush or whoever, and pass some more turkey and mashed potatoes.