LEAVE IT TO PEEVER

When was the last time a profit came to Galesburg?

– Bumper sticker of the week: Bush/Cheney 2004: This time elect us!

– Quotes of the week: "I don’t need to explain–I do not need to explain why I say things. That’s the interesting thing about being the President. Maybe somebody needs to explain to me why they say something, but I don’t feel like I owe anybody an explanation." George W. Bush

"The first duty of government is to protect the powerless against the powerful." The Code of Hammurabi, the world’s oldest legal code, 1700 B.C.

– The Georgian people are a lot smarter and considerably braver than we Americans. They kicked out the President for stealing an election. Suddenly, I’ve got Georgia on my mind.

– Medicare takes one giant leap toward privatization: The President scores a big one for his rich pharmaceutical buddies. And the taxpayer, once gain, takes it in the shorts. Watch the number of prescriptions skyrocket under this new plan, scheduled for implementation in 2006. The more meds older people use, the more money they save and the government pays. You talk about a God-send for the pharmaceutical companies. Here we go: privatize for profit.

– Huge military appropriation signed by the Fuhrer: As if giving the military more money isn’t bad enough, get a load of some of these other add-ons:

• The military is exempt from all environmental laws. They can do whatever they please, any time they please, anywhere they please, all without any consideration of the environment.

• John Ashcroft, U.S. attorney general, can fire civil service workers he finds offensive, without due process.

• They lifted a ten year old ban on testing "small" nuclear weapons. This is the first step in this weapons "coming out" party.

Welcome to BushWorld, where nothing seems as it is. This guy is nuttier than a fruit cake soaked in Lone Star beer.

– I’m still taking all bets that CHS will decline to buy Cottage. I don’t think they got the guts, or the lack of brains. They’re looking for a profit. When was the last time a profit came to Galesburg?

– All I want for Christmas:

• I don’t need a new car. I just bought one. I don’t suppose Santa would pay for it?

• I’d like a condo in Navarra Beach, Florida. I tried to buy one, but I don’t think they were impressed with my offer. I always try to start low and go lower. Maybe Santa has a better approach. Hopefully he has more money.

• Peace on Earth would be a nice gift, but I’m in a more selfish mood. How about a trip to Cancun?

• I could use one of Santa’s elves to help with the lawn.

• Rudolph’s head over my mantle wouldn’t look bad.

• I could use more than just two front teeth. I could use the works.

• I would forego all of the above if Santa would kick Bush out of the White House. What a Merry Christmas that would be.

– It’s time we had a woman for President: Women are a majority in this country. If gays and liberals, or gay liberals, which some would call one and the same, were to side with a woman candidate, she would be a shoo-in. It would be a great day for America. You talk about watching some males cry. Why, they’d have to build a flood gate around Washington. Men have messed up this country for way too long. We had our shot and we blew it. It’s time for a change. Some say it will be Hillary Clinton. Some are hoping for Oprah. Carol Mosley Braun is already in the race. Frankly, I’m hoping for Cher. I think she would make an excellent President. She’s easy to look at, popular, has name recognition, is articulate, can act, and to save money, she can sing at all formal functions. Gays will support her, other females should, although they’ll be a little jealous, and I personally will bring in the liberal vote. It would be one hell of an inauguration. I’m going for Cher in 2004: I’m for you babe.