LEAVE IT TO PEEVER

Distractions

— The Iraqi war distracts us from the pathetic shape the U.S. economy is in.

— Globalization distracts us from the systematic dismantling of labor unions.

— Intelligent design distracts us from intelligence.

— Stopping for a train 6 out of 8 times I go down Seminary Street is a major distraction to my life.

— Two new shopping centers on the outskirts of town will further distract us from downtown.

— I saw a roadside sign that declared, “A church for this generation.” I ain’t sure what that means, but I’m guessing it would be a major distraction.

— Condoleezza Rice is a major distraction and a lousy liar.

— The Victoria Secret Holiday Special was a major distraction.

— It is a distraction to have to worry all the time about how our government is embarrassing itself.

— Tom DeLay is a distraction from common decency.

— The oil industry distracts us from developing alternative energy sources.

— I get distracted just about every time I watch a city council meeting.

— I pay a lot of taxes to help support a lot of other retirement programs, which is a major distraction to my own.

— Cell phones are a major distraction to drivers.

— New Orleans is a distraction from common sense.

— Planning for tomorrow distracts us from today.

— How many times have I been distracted by tight jeans?

— The corporate, political news media distracts us from the truth.

— Right-wing Christians distract us from finding God.

— The one thing Galesburg citizens are not distracted by is work.

— Flags and mottoes and creeds and slogans are distractions from compassion, justice, diversity, and peace.

— Alcohol and drugs distract many people from becoming the person they would want to be.

— I get distracted when they put up things to read in the john. The end result is I usually pee down my leg.

— Fear is a distraction used by George W. and Company.

— Authority is a distraction, often used in place of competence.

Distractions. They’re everywhere.