LEAVE IT TO PEEVER

 

Illinois governors jailhouse blues

 

-Bumper sticker of the week: Capitalism is the road leading to socialism.

 

-Quotes of the week: “The status quo sucks.” George Carlin

 

“You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.” George Carlin

 

-Some of life’s trials and tribulations:

 * Quitting smoking for the 10th time.

 * Having to remarry the same person you divorced.

 * Drinking enough beer to forget your name.

 * Working at the same place for 30 years and getting a pen set when you retire.

 * A child dying before the parents.

 * The fear of living.

 * Being lonely, but living with someone.

 * Always being broke after working 50 hours a week.

 * Being told you are no longer needed.

 * Hatred rising up from a place inside of you that you don’t understand.

 * The tenth time you’ve had to tell people you got that black eye by running into a door.

 * The day Alzheimer’s makes it impossible for you to recognize your spouse and children.

 * Not having enough money to buy your child a Christmas present.

 

-Are you part of the cure, or part of the disease?

 * Do you practice what you preach, or preach and preach and preach?

 * Do you teach racism to your children?

 * Do you promote and demonstrate violence over negotiation, compromise, and non-violence?

 * Do you take and never give?

 * Is your mouth constantly moving and the words generally useless?

 * Does your life mean more to you than the next guys? Are you one of those types that put a battering ram in front of your truck or car to make sure the other guy gets the worst end of the deal?

 * If you know another person is struggling, do you offer to help?

 * Do you think any less of a person living on the street? Do you see them as failures? Do you see them as human beings?

 * Do you think you can mend your broken heart with revenge?

 * Is your way the only way?

It’s your choice. Are you part of the cure, or part of the disease?

 

-The deer hunter: I couldn’t be a deer hunter. It’s the eyes. They look right through you. I couldn’t come to terms with that. Maybe if I needed food. Really needed food. But even then, I’m not so sure. I hit a deer on the way home from Monmouth last year. Or rather, he hit me. Highway 34 cuts right through wetlands, and a natural deer run. I got in his way. In slow motion, I saw him run into the left front panel, shatter the outside mirror, left headlight, and crack the windshield. Scared the ever living hell out of me. But he got the worst of it. When I walked back to take a look, it was the eyes. They shattered my indifference towards disrupting and ignoring nature. I had no business getting in his way.

 

-I would strongly recommend that the next governor of Illinois not come from Chicago. There seems to be a real issue with anyone from Chicago knowing what is right or wrong, what is legal vs illegal. They don’t want to stay in the governors mansion. We should turn it into a governors jailhouse. We’d be way ahead of the game.